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WHAT I LEARNED
Each day Matthew Toffolo writes about what he learned yesterday. From his travels as a filmmaker and running the wildsound.ca website and its monthly events, to his daily observations on life and his trials, tribulations and exciting moments each day of his existence! Read on and please make sure you leave some comments in the box after each column!
What I Learned - April 20-25 2008 Lots to learn on a 5 game LOSING streak. We released Frank Thomas because he was under-performing (but I think his teammates also lost a lot of trust with him on and off the field) and we really can't hit worth a hill of beans with men in scoring position. This season can be lost by the end of April and manager John Gibbons can easily be fired. I'm so depressed about it I can't even write, and I love writing. My personal life is also in a strange place too. More confusion than clarity and that's always trouble. What happens with my team and my non-business life effects everything else I do. I just need to ride the storm and get the salt water out of my ears and brain. Jays are now 10-14 with 138 games to go. What I Learned - April 19th 2008 Today's game was a weird game. It seems that no one really wanted to win. Both teams were given multiple chances to pull the game in their direction and win -- but both teams kept doing all they could to lose. But the Jays won 3-2 in a game they easily could of lost. Or maybe should of lost. 9-9 on the season with 144 games to go. What I Learned - April 18th 2008 Home is usually the place you work your best. You sleep in your own bed and are very familiar with your surroundings. But for the Blue Jays, that's not the case right now. They have now lost 6 in a row at home and are playing like a bunch of losers. It's early, but you shouldn't be losing 6 games in your own backyard. 8-9 on the season with 145 games to go. What I Learned - April 17th 2008 I thought yesterday's Blue Jays/Rangers 14th inning game was long. Well is was trumped today with a 22 inning marathon between the San Diego Padres and the Colorado Rockies. Both teams didn't score until the 14th, where they both scored 1 each and then Colorado pulled it off in the 22nd inning and winning 2-1! The game took almost 7 hours to complete! Also today, a high school game in Japan was halted in the 2nd inning for the first time ever because at team scored 66 runs and there was still only 1 out. It became so one sided that they just needed to stop the bleeding. 66-0 and the 2nd inning wasn't even completed. That's got to hurt the team who lost, probably for the rest of their lives. Jays lose 4-1 to Texas again. A hangover from last night's game. You go 14 innings and lose a game, it can haunt you and effect your team for a long time. It's like committing on a project for a long time in your life and then see it not come to fruition. It can get to you, but that's what happens in any business where you are the creator. And everyone will go through this pain who is in the arts. The trick is to recover from it as fast as possible. 8-8 on the season with 146 games to go. What I Learned - April 16th 2008 It was almost two games last night as the Jays lose a heart-breaker in 14 innings. A game we had about 1,000 chances to win but just couldn't pull through. Time after time we had runners in scoring position to win, and time after time we couldn't win. This was just a really bizarre game too. The Jays ran out of relief pitchers going into the 14th inning, so we had to put in A.J. Burnett, who is suppose to start for us on Friday. He ends up giving up two runs and loses the game, the first time he pitched relief in 5 years. These games hurt. Jays lose 7-5 in 14 innings. 8-7 on the season with 147 games to go. What I Learned - April 15th 2008 Some games before the first pitch is even thrown, you're suppose to win -- and day's game was the game as the Blue Jays won running away from the Baltimore Orioles. April could be the best month for sports. It's a tie between October and April. April has the NCAA basketball finals, the masters, the beginning of baseball and the start of the NBA finals. It also has the NFL draft which for some reason is now also a big event as it crosses the two biggest sports in North America together - College football and Pro football. And since I'm Canadian, I should also mention it's also the start of the NHL playoffs. October has the beginning and end of the MLB playoffs and during the heart of the NFL season when thing start to get interesting. So I personally have to choose October. These two months also are the best weather seasons in my opinion too. Not too warm and not too cold. But they are the months of change where April has the trees and flowers growing in and October has the trees and flowers growing out. So April and October are really the best months of the year. It's the months where I usually have the most personal discovery too. Jays win 10-4. 8-6 with 148 games to go. What I Learned - April 14th 2008 The Jays game was happening during the radio show so I had the podcast going on during the show. They lost 4-3 so I'll never do that again. I'm superstitious that way. Jays lose to Baltimore. Now 7-6 with 149 games to go. What I Learned - April 13th 2008 Yesterday afternoon as I flipped between the game and the final round of the Masters Golf tourney, I was happy to be a baseball fan. As former baseball commissioner A. Barlett Giammati (and father of actor Paul Giammati) said once - "Baseball is designed to break your heart." Sometimes it's just not there for you, but you love it nonetheless. For anyone who wants to watch a baseball game to see what all the fuss is about should of watched this game. It was a back and forth battle between Texas and Toronto where the lead changed 8 times and all the runs were scored by grind out at-bats and baserunning and clutch hits. When it's a great baseball game, there isn't a better overall story in the history of mankind. Better than a Shakespeare play or a Hitchcock movie. Better than an episode of The Sopranos or a funny YouTube video. The best storytelling ever in my era was the complete 2004 American League Championship series between the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox. If you want to know how to tell a story, watch those 7 games as there was everything in that series! It taught me so much about life and storytelling in general, I still have to go back and watch it to gain more information. Jays win 5-4 in extra innings. 7-5 on the season with 150 games to go. What I Learned - April 12th 2008 Roy Halladay is a poet. I can't think of a more creative person than a solid major league pitcher. They even have that artist personality -- alone on the mound with their own thoughts and emotions, with all the pressure on them. Each time they are scheduled to pitch, they either will look like fools or look like geniuses. Mr. Doc Halladay was a genius last night as he was unstoppable and there was no way he was going to lose the game. They call it being in the ZONE, where everything works for them. I've had days like this but not enough of them. Perhaps that's why I'm not a genius. Jays win 4-1. 6-5 on the season. 151 games to go. What I Learned - April 11th 2008 Leadership means not everyone likes you. Roy Halladay is the unofficial leader of the Toronto Blue Jays. He doesn't talk much but when he does, the entire organization listens. He called out the team for not playing with urgency and he told the team to play like they should be playing. It's a long season but every game counts and I am a believer that when you begin something, it's always important to start strong. Motivational speaking is very much overrated, but if you let your team do their job without saying much throughout -- when you do say something, it does add a lot of weight. And you're going to piss some people off, it's just the way things happen. But pissing people off from time to time is usually a good thing because it causes an emotional reaction. So when someone is pissed, that means they care. And when they care and you think they don't, then they go out of their way to prove to you that they do care. And that's when their job performance goes up. Jays win 8-5. 5-5 on the season with 152 games to go. What I Learned - April 10th 2008 Punch drunk in my world is when you see failure happening and you're too startled and jarred to do anything about it. That's what happened to the Jays last night as they got swept in a series against the Oakland A's. You saw the result in this game coming before the first pitch as Oakland had the Jays on the run and you knew the victory was there. I'm in that stage in my life right now (and it will only last 1-2 days) where I am confused about what I am really feeling. So I am really not at my best. The Jays are forced to play the games, as I am lucky enough to sit back and wait to play my games of life when I'm ready. Jays lose 4-3 in extra innings. 4-5 on the season with 153 games to go. What I Learned - April 9th 2008 Some days you just get disgusted with your team because they just aren't playing as well as they can. And sometimes you feel the same way about yourself. Today was that day for me. I got out of bed and my routine was shifted, and I never recovered. And really, the entire Toronto Blue Jays team shouldn't of gotten out of bed as they lost a game yesterday that was just too easy to win - you sort of wonder how they could of lost. For me, I have just an obsessive personality that I need to have daily customs in order for me to function during the day. And if I don't do those habits/customs, I am really not at my best. They are just simple things I do that are necessary for me to go about my day. It seems the Jays players were feeling like I was feeling yesterday. We were up and awake performing our job, but we were going through the motions and really weren't there. But you have to get up and do your job no matter how you're feeling. You just hope for luck to occur to hopefully pull off a victory for the day -- because there's no way you're able to do it yourself. The trick is to make sure these days happen few and far between. But they do happen. Jays lose 6-3. 4-4 on the season with 154 games to go. What I Learned - April 8th 2008 A.J. Burnett is a starting pitcher for the Toronto Blue Jays. He's one of those guys with tons of talent, more talent than anyone else on the team, but he just can't put it all together on a consistent basis. A.J. seems to always pitch a great game and then pitch a stinky game. And last night was one of his stinky games. Talent isn't everything. I was reading an article about Kimberley Peirce, the director/writer of the great film Boys Don't Cry and this year's Stop-Loss. It took her 9 years to make another film after her Oscar and commercial success of Boys Don't Cry (which earned Hilary Swank her first Oscar for Best Actress). She said she learned a hard lesson during that time: That talent alone doesn't mean a hill of beans. There's a guy in our film circle in the city who's extremely talented and when he decides to make films, makes great films. The problem is that he has a hard time playing the game of the business of the industry AND he's really a lazy guy who has a hard time self-motivating himself. He's probably the most talented filmmaking I've come across in the last 2 years of the festival, but if I was a betting man (and I am), I wouldn't bet a dime on the future of his career. Sometimes when you have so much talent, you get lazy and unmotivated because things come to you easier than it does for others. A.J. Burnett is a guy who was born to be a baseball pitcher. He's got so much natural talent, it's actually frustrating for most to see. The problem is that because it came easy for him so quickly, he didn't have to work as hard as others to obtain the same results. And then his work ethic didn't become as established as others. When you play in the big leagues, everyone is talented and great, so your work ethic and business skills better be top notch or else they'll eat you up and destroy you on the field. Film industry is the same way. You must have some sort of talent of course, but it's more important to have other character traits to move ahead and get the things you want done. Jays lose at barn burner last night 9-8. A.J. stinks it up on the mound and ruins a solid offensive performance. Jays 4-3, 155 games to go. What I Learned - April 6th 2008 Forty year old Blue Jays designated hitter Frank Thomas is off to a great start. He kind of underperformed last year, so the fans have been down on him and think he's washed up. But so far it looks like he's back to his usual great self. Frank Thomas was the only major league baseball player to talk to the famed Mitchell Report last year. The Mitchell Report being the Steroid/HGH report done by Senator George Mitchell and his team. It exposed Roger Clemens and Andy Petitte to name a few in the report of baseball players who used HGH. The years between 1995 to 2005 will forever be known in the baseball world as the Steroid Era! And the irony of that era is that baseball has never become more popular and fans really aren't turning away at it because of it. The MLB union told its entire membership to put a muzzle on this report and don't talk to a soul. Everyone did what they were told except for Frank Thomas. So the question is, is Frank Thomas a sell out to his union or someone who demands to make baseball a better sport? I personally go with the later. I used to be an Assistant Shop Stewart in a unionized grocery store. I was happy to be a part of the United Commercial and Food Union, then one of the largest unions in North America. I leaned heavily to the left in my late teens and early 20's and was really keen on this whole union thing. Then one trip to a union convention caused all of my ideals to be hammered like Frank Thomas a hammers a batting practice pitch. I realized that the unions were almost or even more corrupt than the corporations itself. People really interested in their own means. I learned the true definition of what selfish is. Because I was brought up with a father who was an executive at General Motors, I saw a unionized strike every 4-5 years with my father on the corporation side. It was interesting to see how much power the GM union wanted over their employers and how every contract time their was always this all out war. So after coming home from the convention and seeing the inside of a union firsthand, I realized that the union will be a dying breed by the time I hit middle age. I was wrong on that assessment as it came by the time I was 27! People on the corporate side were just a whole lot more smarter than the union organization. They saw how to form a solid team with a common goal as the unions seemed to have 10,000 members with 10,000 different ideas. And the unions always looked at things one contract at a time, where the corporations looked at things 10-15 years ahead and 3-4 contracts down the road. What the corporations do to squash the unions probably aren't great morality acts, but I see their point and why they do what they do. And if forced me to become a centralist for the rest of my life. Frank Thomas talked when the union told him to shut up. People weren't happy with him at all, and some of his own teammates were really upset. But the magic and insanity of capitalism is that if you show results, people forget things very quickly. No one cares if an actor or musician goes out binging on drugs if they are performing well. But as soon as they begin to under perform, then their character become a big question and dissection with the media. Frank Thomas needs to have a big season at the plate in order for people to stop talking about this union thing. And that's a good thing in my world. Jays sweep the World Series champs Boston and win 7-4 yesterday. 4-2 with 156 to go. What I Learned - April 5th 2008 I was a fan of the Mary Tyler Moore show as I've got to see a lot of the shows on reruns. It had an unique chemistry between the performers and of course the writing was top notch. And I have to say it had the best opening theme song and visuals in T.V. history. It still evokes tons of emotions out of me as I relate to Mary being lonely in a big city and trying to found her niche inside of the largeness of it all. Mary throws up her hat as the end of the montage to symbolize her mark in the city and it's an important moment in the history of television. In the pilot episode there is that famous scene between Lou Grant and Mary when Mary is applying for a job at the T.V. news station. Lou Grants tells Mary - "You have spunk..... I hate spunk." Of course Lou really liked spunk - he was just afraid of it at the time, especially spunk from a young woman who wasn't interested in having kids and setting up a suburban home. Toronto Blue Jays shortshop David Eikstein is the definition of SPUNK. At 5 '6 and 140 pounds, he really has no right to be playing in the major leagues. But here he is on a major league team playing arguably the most important position on the team. I was afraid of Eikstein when the Jays signed him in the off-season. He just doesn't look like a major league baseball player and I questioned why the Jays got him. Now 5 games in I understand! This guy is one hell of a player as he really knows how to do the little things to win the game. Yes, the Jays won 10-2 yesterday in a blowout -- but Eikstein really set the tone of the game with his all out hustle. And during Friday's game, he's the reason they won they game with his 12 pitch grinding walk in the 7th inning leading off, which set the tone of the big inning. SPUNK in Toffolo definition is someone who has that energy inside of their souls that drives and motivates others. A person with spunk is someone who doesn't have to say anything and just needs to be their always internal optimistic self. They are the unconscious leaders of a team or organization and are generally overachievers. We all need people with SPUNK in our lives. And now the Jays have one in Eikstein. Jays are 3-2. 157 games to go. What I Learned - April 4th 2008 I've attended many professional baseball games in my life. I have been lucky enough (thanks to my father) to have watched a game at many stadiums around the United Stated. I have probably attended over 500 major league baseball games in my short life so far and will probably attend close to 10,000 by the time I pass on. Never have a been to a game quite like the one I went to last night. It was the first time that the actual game taking place wasn't the major attraction - but the fans were the highlight of the evening. A sold out 50,000 roaring crowd for the Blue Jays home opener. A Toronto crowd starving for something since their usual passion sports team, hockey's Maple Leafs, are a stinker of a team that will miss their 3rd straight playoffs (and everyone makes the playoffs in hockey!). Two naked streakers running on the field topped the evening in the 9th inning. The main reason because one of the streakers was a female! And I've never seen a female streaker live before and it was fun to see. I think streakers should make a comeback. Horray for streakers! For some reason it's really funny to see a security guard football tackle a naked guy in the middle of a field. It must be a rush for the security guard too and it could be a highlight of his life. They had to treat the naked female streaker a tad differently. I guess it wouldn't be PC if they football tackled a naked girl on the field like they do a man. So they had to tag team swarm her to stop her from running. And because they had to do that, they were undermanned for the guy streaker as he got to run off for a good 20 seconds. And 20 seconds is an eternity in the streaker world. Since I don't drink anymore, I forgot how much people drink. I think about 60% of the crowd was sloshed by the 7th inning. I didn't like my assigned seat so I sat in 5 different sections in the stadium and every section I sat in was filled with drunken people. I loved the fact that people were so into the baseball game, even if it really was alcohol influenced and most people really don't understand the game of baseball. (I am what you call a baseball snob) The stadium was electric last night. It was a hockey/football crowd watching baseball. The problem is that there are 80 more home dates for the team and people haven't paced themselves for the entire season. But fun nonetheless as the Blue Jays defeated the Red Sox 6-3. I home opener that I'll never forget. What I Learned - April 3rd 2008 I have two extreme love/hate relationships in my life. All actors in general and the New York Yankees. Both I look from a far in awe for who they are and what they do and both I look from a far in disgust for who they are and what they do! The New York Yankees to the MLB (Major League Baseball) are the United States to the rest of the world. A powerhouse team that wants to dominate the league and win every single World Series trophy that has ever existed. They sometimes do things for themselves and not for the rest of the league and really set up the baseball inequality of salary structure. The word socialism is the dirtiest word in the English language to the Yankees. The Yankees have a payroll of over $200 million as the Florida Marlins (a team that beat the Yanks in the 2003 World Series) have a payroll of $21 million. In fact, Yankees third-baseman Alex Rodriguez (A-Rod to the world) earns $28 million a year. So one player makes 25% more money than an entire team! Just like say Donald Trump has more money than many countries! But despite all their money, the Yankees can play baseball and play is great. They are what I call grinders. They grind out wins that most teams can't win. Something my current Blue Jays team can't do and need to learn to do. Being a grinder is how you become a champion. A grinder in Toffolo definition is someone who overcomes a close race simply by not making any mistakes at near the end of the finish line. And to just wait for the opposition to make a slight error -- and then take advantage of that simple mistake to wins the race. Life is a lot like that. In order to achieve the goals that you have set out for yourself, you must be a grinder many times. A lot of times situations are like a close race. Deciding between you and another person usually is the simplest and slightest thing. At the end of the race when the pressure's on, people will make mistakes. And it's the ones who don't make any mistakes are the ones who go on to run another race. Something whiner actors who don't book their auditions need to learn too. And in order to be a grinder, you can't be a whiner. The Yankees wins games most teams can't win because they play error free baseball in the 7 to 9th innings. And they bested the Blue Jays last night 3-2 because the Jays made a simple error that really wouldn't mean a whole lot in the 2nd inning but was the reason they lost the game as they committed that error in the 8th inning. And the Yanks took advantage of it. 1-2 season. Going home to play Boston. What I Learned - April 2nd 2008 Baseball is a funny game. Sometimes you're just not suppose to win as nothing goes your way -- and others times everything goes your way and the baseball gods are making you win. Life is a lot like that too. Sometimes I wake up and nothing can go wrong. Then other times me and the world would of been better off if I just stayed in bed for the entire day because nothing I did (although intension always good) was worth a hill of beans. The Jays should of won on Tuesday but lost and Wednesday's game we won which seemed to be a payback for Tuesday's game. The Toronto Blue Jays reflect my life in a lot of ways. They are in a division with the two big powerhouses of the baseball world: the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox. In order to make the playoffs they must top those teams eventhough their payrolls are twice as much as the Jays and seem to have every advantage known to man over my team. So in order to take down the big boys you have to be creative with your personal, come up with some creative ways to outsmart the competition and get lucky during the season. Lucky meaning that you can't afford to have any injuries AND some of the people on the team have to have career seasons or career making seasons. That's what I need to do with this website and the events. In order for me to outduel the bigboys, I have to outmanouver them and get lucky doing it too. Meaning I need to get the breaks I need and pray for them to happen. Baseball is a long season. 162 games are played and no matter what you're going to lose at least 65 of those games. So you're destined to fail a lot and if you just win 60% of the time during the season, then you are a success. This is a lot like life. I'm going to fail a lot and fail miserably too. The trick is to learn from the failures, embrace the failures all the while not wanting to fail at all. You must want to win all 162 times eventhough that's an impossibility. We're 1-1 with 160 to go. It's a long, long season and a long, long year for me and for all of us if you break it down. Lots of time to grow, explore, to win and to unfortunately lose. But then again it wouldn't be all that fun if you won every single time. What I Learned - April 1st 2007 I took 5 weeks off and now I'm back. I entered a phase where my thoughts and feelings weren't catching up to my actual expressions. Meaning that I got overwhelmed by what I was thinking and I just couldn't write about it for a bit. Now I'm feeling good. Probably the best I've ever felt. But that could be just because baseball season is finally here. I tend to really have a hard time going about my day between Football and Baseball season. Those seven weeks between the day after the Super Bowl to the opening day of the Baseball season are a real tough time for me. Those two sports are my muses and I need them to bounce my ideas and thoughts off of. For people who are not sports fans, that probably is strange for you. But I need football and baseball to balance my emotions, thoughts and feelings and be the best creator I can be for the world. A lot people listen to music, others go to a museum and some take photographs to balance themselves. It's called a hobby in society's terms. My life is movies and the entertainment industry. My hobby is baseball and football. You can't have your job/life be the same thing as your hobby. You need that mirror to reflect your true passion. And baseball right now in my mirror! I am a Toronto Blue Jays fan so I tend to always watch them play. But I can watch any professional baseball game that goes on. The trick though is to not overly obsess yourself with your hobby because you then end up not doing your real job. Baseball is there for me but I can't watch 4 games a day because I then won't be doing the things I'm suppose to be doing. For some reason though my current influences don't really get my hobby. If someone is a music nut, that's accepted more than being a baseball nut. So I'm left alone with my hobby and I sort of like it that way. The more alone I am with something I love, the more I tend to really understand who I am without an outside influence trying to tell me who I am. And baseball tells me who I am. How I react to the happenings on the field tell me how I react to other parallel things in my life. So I'm prepared more to things just because of baseball's happening on the field. So now I'm going to write about my hobby and how it parallels with my passion. Stay tuned! Read Previous Matthew Toffolo Columns
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What I Learned Yesterday- By Matthew Toffolo
