Vanessa Ruane
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Blog July 25th
The theme of abstraction echos my every thought. I’ve taken on the challenge of shooting and editing for the Regina Klenjoski Dance Company. Regina is choreographing a piece that will play as Live art in the latest exhibit at The Museum of Torrance.
What does it meant to make a visual experience without telling a story? This question keeps nagging my brain. I’ve been looking at life’s abstraction and realizing how much my mind wants to put a beginning, middle and end on everything.
When you are thinking of art and questioning, life tends to show that side of itself. The interconnectedness of everything is showing itself to me. I see it most obviously as I watch my garden grow.
On the complete opposite side I’m getting ready for a rehearsal with the actors for the upcoming movie I’m about to shoot. This type of questioning is totally different. It is all about story and character arcs.
I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed by the amount of editing I’ve taken on. The satisfaction at the end will be great but now I’m in the anxiety of getting it all done.
I’ve had four friends this month ages 34 – 40 having babies. This to me is so not on the horizon. I feel like it’s something I should want but I don’t. I’m so glad that I’m with someone who shares those feelings.
All these Life challenges surrounding me and I’m just enjoying the opportunity to be busy with work and remind myself that I’m truly blessed getting to do a job I love.
And now to continue to look for the abstract.
Blog August 11th
Directing is the best thing. It gives me so much joy to nurture performances, create the camera angles through which you take an audience on a visual adventure and know the day and editing well enough to get my crew out on time.
I have not directed narrative since Firefighter almost four years ago. It is so much fun. I love enveloping oneself in a story and the tight nitch family you become with the cast and crew. It was short and sweet but I’m still relishing in it.
The editing is on my plate now. The challenging part. The homework, the technicality of putting it together right so the quality of what we shot is not lost. Ahhh the pressure.
I don’t really feel joy in this process, I feel a sense of accomplishment when it’s finished but the process of editing does not bring elation just focus and concentration.
Things are good. I fly to Detroit to operate the P2 camera for four days and have a job interview with MTV as a Shooter/Producer for their show Made. I really want that job to happen it will be freelance and give me the opportunity to grow so much more.
I’ve fallen off my yoga while being swept up by busy production hours. I’ve been struggling to integrate it in my life. Why is it so hard to make a habit out of the things that are good for you?
I must face the edit timeline. Every moment away is procrastination. I stare at the open program on my computer screen finding everything that needs to be dusted before I can sit and hit the space bar and start to put together my story.
Time to jump in.
Blog August 22nd
I just returned from Detroit were I spent a week shooting racing for Roush Performance auto parts. We interviewed their Nascar drivers and shot at the Drag Strip and the Performance Track. What a blast.
I got to put together the jib arm, camera mounts and lipstick cams. It was great to be able to get experience with these fun toys. The hardest was using the fish eye lens, it felt like the camera became 10 times its weight. There were points were I thought my arm might fall off, but I got the shot.
Working with the boys. There was one night I skipped dinner because I just couldn’t listen to any more of the three 25 year old guys I was working with. I don’t know when I went from being the youngest person to the oldest. It’s such a bizarre feeling to process.
They did surprise me on the third day when we were ready an hour and a half before the event was to start and they joined me in a morning yoga stretch for over a half hour. I have to say that was pretty cool. They were sort of busting on me for stretching the whole time, and on the last day they joined in. I couldn’t keep my camera steady if I didn’t do it and they all felt benefits from it that day as well. It was a great thing to be able to share.
Getting to be that busy feels so good. It is such a high for me to be on production. Now I’m back to editing and crashing, as it is me and only I who can push my projects forward and out of the editing bay.
On Monday I interviewed for a job as a shooter/producer for the MTV show Made. It’s one of those jobs that I want so bad and won’t know if I get for months because they have eighteen episodes to make. The woman spent an hour and a half talking with me and it felt like a great interview.
My favorite part of it all is getting to work on something with programming that offers a positive impact on teenager’s lives. It’s rare in the shows on TV. I so have my fingers crossed and at the same time am trying to practice non-attachment. Letting it go. Boy is it hard.
Although the past two days it’s been hard to think of anything beside the big bank fire in NYC that my dad’s company was trapped in.Stepping off the plane I got the news that my dad had been there with the Engine. They entered the building to a small fire that should have been no problem to contain and put out.
The building was a maze, exits and entrances blocked off and when they went to put water on the fire, it turns out the Construction workers had left the stand pipe cap off. The water flooded the basement and it took over thirty minutes to get the water to the Engine companies upstairs.
In that time the fire grew to an eight alarm. The men who were put in places that were not dangerous tried now to get out as they grew dangerous. The increase in smoke forced them to use out the air in their tanks as they searched for exits not blocked. My dad said he never heard so many Maydays in his life. With only minutes of air left he was able to lead his men to an area that although was blocked off – had rescue workers opening it up. They got out safely but it was a very close call.
I have been so worried about talking to my Grandma who went through surgery and has been struggling to get better that I’ve neglected touching base with my immediate family. I couldn’t really put my finger on my last conversation I’ve had with my dad. It’s rattled me to remember how precious life is. How so quickly and easily we can take for granted and just as quickly it can all be taken away.
I’ve been focusing on my gratitude, and remembering everything I have in this moment, because the moment is gone in an instant.
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