Vanessa Ruane Blog March 3rd
This past week I’ve found myself so reflective. It started of course with The Oscars. The Academy Awards. The big night, the big dream for most of us who tell stories. I was one of the 1 billion people watching. It’s inspiring to see and yet for me it sparks a hope so deeply buried inside of me. Years of struggle have turned me a bit jaded and the rejection that started so early as an actress makes it easy for me to quickly deny that yearning. But it can’t be denied. I want to be a part of that special night. I want to be part of film that moves not only audiences, but also film critics. A film like, Incontinent Truth that can actually help make the world a better place. I guess I’m doomed to dream big. But the reality of my day to day is not that fantasy. The reality is one of trying to do as many of the right things that will get me closer to those goals and struggling to know if I am doing enough. Vanessa Ruane and What does success really mean? I put the trailer for my latest film up on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfXD3ly3qrg Within a week we had over 3,000 views, positive comments and an article written about it. I thought wow that’s great, sounds like success. It must have brought donations for the Graybeards, the charity the film is about. But not only did the views not translate into donations it has not done anything but gain views and positive comments. That’s nice but it does not help the finances. So is it success? The positive being that I’m on the right path? Three weeks ago I was contacted by a German Financier to write and direct a film for their company. After two weeks of notes and making calls on his behalf to my Executive Producer contacts, he decides to go with a German director and just cuts me off. It’s nice to be found and contacted but it sucks too lose a job because your name is not as strong to the Bond companies as someone else. Is there success in that? Another message that let’s me know I’m going in the right direction? Vanessa Ruane and wanting to work I’m so done with struggling. I just want to be able to work. I just want an agent to say show up here and do the work and here is your paycheck. Baby steps are really getting tiring. But again in order to find peace and joy I must boil it back to tangible goals. Back to those annoying but successful baby steps. So on I go with the latest script, I’m almost out of the second act, and I’ve made it to page 64. Through 9/11 and into the section where all hope is lost for our heroes. I am 15 pages from the second plot point, which moves me into the third act. It’s time for discipline and diligence and hopefully through that I can somehow feel more of the ever-elusive success.
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