TURNING 25TURNING 25 I have been thinking about this blog for the last month. The longer I left it the longer it started eating at my heart. I went to my brother’s wedding the last week of August and my Uncle who has been reading my blogs mentioned that I haven’t updated it in awhile. I couldn’t think of anything really remotely good to say. I was afraid I may of let him down. He cracked a quick witted joke immediately after and I realized that I didn’t let him down. He was caring and keeping up with my life and was genuinely interested. I realized I was letting myself down. A few days after my brother’s wedding I moved in with my girlfriend hoping to finally get some peace away from fun roommates. A week went by and Carly and I painted the place. Bought new furniture. My life changed in an instant. So much was happening, but I couldn’t bring myself to easily hook up my computer and write. I was having visions of people I let down through carelessness and I couldn’t get people out of my head. This week though, we are putting the finishing touches on our place and it feels like home.. A comfortable area to work. I have my own computer now. I don’t have to share. A huge sense of freedom has been granted to me in this point in my life.. So why couldn’t I get those thoughts out of my head? I don’t know, but Carly’s friend came over and brought his roommate and we hit it off about comics and geeky things. He then got interested in some of the philosophers that I like. I told him about Thoreau and Rilke. I picked out a book of Wisdom by Rilke, read a quote, and just like that I felt saved. I can’t remember what page it was on, but it was about embracing your journey and where you are at the moment. I just took it in and all those people I felt I let down made my life richer with what I did. I can’t please everyone and especially not at once. I can’t be happy living like that. I’m already a happy guy. That energy should please the right people around me. I turned 25 the other day. I talked to my friend and she talked about 25 being the year of settling in her life. (I just accidentally stepped on my power bar and thought I lost everything, but my brilliant computer saved everything automatically. Thank God. I‘m a goof.) I listened to her closely. I can’t say that I am going to be like that, but there will be big changes. I already started by taking improv. Something I meant to do right outside of school. It took me awhile, but I got there. Tonight was my first class and it was amazing. I don’t think I‘ll be the same after going through improv. I’m going to make it to the end as well. There is a freedom in improv that I needed to rediscover as an actor. I need to do more than talk. I’ve been doing to much talking in the past few years. When I have a script in my hand and I screw around and make no wrong choice with it, I always have great success. My table work comes with standing on my feet and feeling the facts and what the script is telling me. Since I turned 25 I wanted to make a list of goals. If I put it on my blog people will see it and I’ll know that. Hopefully that will push me to get them done.. I want to be in level 300 improv by next year. I want to have my tax sheet set out this month and continually set it up, so I am ready come tax time. I definitely want to give my best performance in the play I’m in opening Halloween. I don’t feel ready at all, but I have two months to rock. I want to get 20 monologues together and keep practising them throughout the year. Get some kind of film job. Put up the comedy show that my friend and I wrote together. Write a play or script. Read as many books as possible off my bookshelf and observe everyone a little more closely, see where they are at. Face as many fears as possible, and face the new ones that will inevitably arise, with vigour, force and bravery. Voice warm up my every day in the morning. Go to bed at a decent time and this is the mother of all goals for me and that is to say “NO” countless times to what I should of said no to last year. Self-discipline is important. There is a time where it is time to acquire it and let the passion flow with it. We all have successes and we all make mistakes. In a world of instant results it feels easier to not do anything. This stage of my life helped me realize that when I was on top of my game I looked down and even preached against the people who don’t do anything. Being on both sides of the pendulum helped me realize the journeys of the people who Do and the people who Don’t are both equally special. The people who aren’t doing anything may seem lazy, but I know in their heads they are at work toward a dream of some kind. Whatever it is. Sometimes you have to take a huge step back to understand what you jumped out of and what you are about to jump back into. I’m gonna see a film called Blind tomorrow at the film festival. I’ll talk about it next week on my blog. Return from Turning 25 to Jesse Ryder Hughes home
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