THE ICE PIRATES, 1984
Movie Review

THE ICE PIRATES, 1984
Movie Review
Directed by Stewart Raffill
Starring: Robert Urich, Anjelica Houston, Ron Perlman
Review by The Movie Whore

SYNOPSIS:

In the far future water is the most valuable substance. Two space pirates are captured, sold to a princess.

REVIEW:

I can hear groans from people that actually have heard of or seen this movie. Others of you are saying to yourself, “I Love that flick. I need to watch that again.”

For those of you that have never heard of The Ice Pirates, you are in for treat.

The movie is set far in the future and in this future water has become the most precious resource. There is a limited supply throughout the galaxy and is not only a commodity but is also used currency. During these harsh times of slavery and oppression there are few that thumb their nose at the aristocracy running the galaxy, Ice Pirates.

There is a secret that the rulers of the galaxy are hiding. The Seventh World is thought of as a myth. It is the mythical water planet that could destroy the current system of government.The cast includes such household names as Robert Urich, Ron Pearlman and Angelica Houston.

The movie opens with our pirates raiding an ice transport. The special thing about this particular ship is that one of the passengers is the Princess Karina, whose father was lost trying to find the Seventh world. The pirates kidnap the princess (of course) and are taking off, but not before they run into guard robots and send their own robot warriors into battle.

This leads to one of the funniest fight scenes I have ever seen. During this robot battle, the pirates send in their secret weapon, the karate robot. He is smaller than the other robots but this little martial arts machine kicks some serious tail. This scene never fails to crack me up with its total disregard for reality.

While the pirates on their way to the pirate planet for a little rest and relaxation they find a special something in the closet.

“The ship has herpes.”

Space herpes that is. This thing shows its ugly face from time to time throughout the rest of the film and is the perfect silly little distraction. It is never on screen that long and it is always fitting.

As it turns out the princess is the key to finding the seventh world. As the Ice Pirates venture forth to find the planet of legend, they are pursued by the royal fleet. What makes finding the seventh world so tricky is that surrounding the planet is a temporal field that alters time. This leads to one of the most unique battle sequences ever put to film. When was the last time you saw time move forward during the course of battle, watching every one age before your eyes. Not only is it unique but also lends to some great classic cheese.

Overall I would have to say this is one of my favorite films and a must see for any movie whore. I guarantee you will not be disappointed. Tune in next week when we explore another great movie made for movie whores.

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