Pushing Up Daisies
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
| THIS JUST IN - Daren Foster talks about his recent column -- The news media and how they go after perhaps the more sexier stories than the right stories |
PUSHING UP DAISIES
By Daren Foster
**ABC takes an axe to its schedule. No mourners attend funeral.**
Blood has been spilt at ABC as pink slips were handed out to 3 of their sophomore (sort of) series, Dirty Sexy Money, Eli Stone and Pushing Daisies. (Why sort of? All 3 inaugural seasons were screwed by the WGA strike last year.) In one fell swoop, the network cut impressive holes in their programming schedules and, judging by their lacklustre line-up so far this season, there’s nothing clamouring in the wings, ready to go wide with viewers.
Funny thing is no one at the network actually said the ‘C’ word. It was all vague corporate-speak with the shows’ producers told that no additional episodes would be ordered but thanks for the effort guys and we’ll see you in the funny papers. Maybe a groundswell of audience support might revive ABC’s interest in the shows a la Jericho and The Family Guy so one could hold out hope for some sort of miraculous resurrection.
My guess, however, is that expectations for such a Lazarus-like rise from the dead are as lifeless as the shows themselves. Stick a fork in ‘em, they’re done. Everybody involved in their creation should be polishing up their resumes for the upcoming pilot season. Pack it up and move on.
So, let us bow our heads in silent prayer for ol’ George Michael-seeing Eli, the dysfunctional but ultimately loving Darling family and the insanely wacky folks who call The Pie Hole home. Thanks for all you provided us during your prematurely abbreviated runs. I, for one, will miss flipping past your shows, having invested more than enough time to realize that it wasn’t really worth the effort to keep watching. It wasn’t that your shows sucked (OK. Maybe Dirty Sexy Money sucked.) I just didn’t care. Your demise would suggest millions of other people didn’t either.
For both Eli Stone and Pushing Daisies, there was an initial promise of something interesting. Due to a soon-to-be detected brain tumour, San Francisco attorney, Eli Stone, saw spectral visions that no one else saw which derailed his high-flying career and engagement to the daughter of one of the firm’s senior partners. On the plus side, said visions helped him win the increasingly bizarre, pro bono cases in which he invariably helped to right wrongs, fought for the little guy or just simply attempted to out David E. Kelley David E. Kelley. (If you don’t know what I mean by that, then you don’t watch Boston Legal.)
OK so, maybe there wasn’t much initial promise to Eli Stone. It did occasionally feature George Michael though. There’s no way viewers wouldn’t tune in for that. If it were 1988 instead of 2008.
Pushing Daisies actually did possess some initial promise. I swear. Compared in look and tone to Tim Burton’s lighter fare, it was a modern day fairy tale murder mystery about a humble pie maker who could bring people back from the dead but only for a minute, after which someone else must die to take the previously deceased’s place on the other side. Throw in a money-grubbing but loveable P.I., a love triangle, two wacky sisters and settle into the sofa for an hour’s worth of whimsy.
At times, that was enough and it worked. Well acted, funny, sweet, Pushing Daisies should’ve garnered a wider appeal but it was undermined by the Scooby Doo level of mysteries each week. They were ultimately inconsequentially inane and superfluous, taking precious screen time away from the far more interesting dynamics of the main characters. Like Eli Stone, Pushing Daisies fell under the wheels of its particular genre and rendered itself just a whole lot of the same old same old, which is a shame, given how much it strived to be different.
Dirty Sexy Money embraced its primetime soap opera genre with wild abandon. How completely and utterly it failed to pull that off goes to prove that it ain’t as easy as it looks. Chock a block with outrageous caricatures, murder, intrigue and a heapin’ helpin’ of bed hopping, the result was a big mess of bland. So much so that in this writer’s opinion, aside from those appearing in front of the camera, no humans were actually involved in the creation of the show. Dirty Sexy Money felt like the product of a computer program which spits out automated versions of television shows. Input: primetime network soap opera. Output: Dirty Sexy Money. After sitting through five or six episodes, the only lasting impression was that Peter Krause is a dull as dishwater, one-note actor and Donald Sutherland can spin gold out of almost any piece of crap he appears in and has the finest mane of old man hair ever filmed.
The question shouldn’t be why were these 3 shows cancelled but why it took so long to put them out of their misery. (An aside from The Simpsons. When Krusty the Klown announces his retirement from show business, a reporter asks: Why now, Krusty? Why not 20 years ago?) Certainly, the strike shortened season last year disrupted any momentum these shows might’ve had and ABC probably thought it should give them another opportunity to generate a following during a normal television season. The strike also affected the regular pilot development period last spring leaving the network cupboard bare of any new shows to fill up the schedule.
Still.. still.. excluding Pushing Daisies, who among the network brass truly thought either of the other two shows had any chance of becoming a breakout hit or even a modest ratings achiever? This isn’t a Seinfeld, Cheers or Hill Street Blues case in which a quality program just needs the time and patience to gain an audience. Devoid of any tangible personality, Eli Stone and Dirty Sexy Money 
were mere space fillers and time wasters; the flotsam and jetsam of network television that unfortunately make it to the air with depressing regularity. Given an opportunity to smother them in their sleep that came early with the writers strike, why did ABC pass up the chance?
Are the networks that desperate for content, I wonder. The word that ABC will be filling some of the schedule space now available with a revival of another network’s castoff, namely Scrubs, would suggest as much. Scrubs? Really? You don’t mean that Scrubs, do you? NBC’s used-to-be-funny-for-about-a-minute Scrubs? Come on!
It’s like if McDonald’s finally came to its senses and realized their McRib sandwich 
was bilious and no one in their right mind ever ate it, so they jettison it. Burger King turns around and snaps it up and without renaming it starts flogging it, believing no one’s going to think that their McRib sandwich is the same as that McRib sandwich. Or after the disastrous history of the Ford Pinto, GM makes an executive decision to start selling it under their brand. No, no. It’s not a Ford Pinto. It’s a GM Pinto. This one probably won’t explode if you rear-end it. Probably.
Taking the automotive industry comparison one step further, if network television continues along the current downward path, it’s won’t be very surprising to see their head honchos making a beeline for Capitol Hill, hat in hand, begging for financial assistance in the not too distant future. Hell, if the government’s willing to hand over billions of dollars to an incompetent industry that failed to grasp which way the wind was blowing and drive (ha, ha) their businesses straight into the ground, why not television networks? They’ve been as equally inept and oblivious to the changing landscape of their business. They’re the source of a lot of high-paying jobs, too. And if they’re allowed to go under, our televisions would go blank and those watching might pull themselves out of their stupor and start looking around and realizing the mess that’s been created while they’ve been watching drivel like Eli Stone and Dirty Sexy Money. Chaos will descend and cities will be in flames!
This could be the answer to a question that has long plagued me. Why do the networks continue to churn out substandard material? It’s obvious to me now. Why bother with the extra effort to provide something of substance and oomph when failure is clearly an option? Just get big enough to threaten a critical shakedown if you fall and money will be simply handed over to you, few questions asked. Evidently, that’s far easier than coming up with a compelling product.
READ MORE COLUMNS BY DAREN FOSTER
December 8 2008 - THIS JUST IN - The media just loves a good tragedy!
December 1 2008 - UNDER THE RADAR - The curious career of Albert Brooks.
November 24 2008 - PULP FICTION FOREVER - Once exciting filmmaker now never fails to disappoint.
November 17 2008 - CHARLIE KAUFMAN UNLEASHED - Brainy scriptwriter goes for broke in directorial debut.
November 10 2008 - A GOLDEN AGE - TV's renaissance amidst the ruins.
November 3 2008 - POLITICS AS UNUSUAL - Media tales fail to take flight.
October 27 2008 - EYES HAVE IT 2 - Joe the Plumber 4 President!
October 20 2008 - EYES HAVE IT - You say pollster. I say huckster.
October 13 2008 - MUSLIM COMEDY REVIEW - Ahmed's now your wacky next door neighbour!
October 6 2008 - BVLGARI VVLGARIS - Celebrity overseas whoring.
September 29 2008 - COMEDY TODAY
September 22 2008 - FALLEN SEASON EXPECTATIONS
September 15 2008 - CONVENTIONAL WISDOM
September 8 2008 - KILL THE BATMAN - Seriously. Put him out of his misery.
September 1 2008 - MY SUMMER VACATION
August 25 2008 - PHONING IT IN
August 18 2008 - GUNGA GULUNGA
August 11 2008 - EMMY DAZE - Where is The Wire
August 4 2008 - ME TALK GOOD
July 28 2008 - TAKE THE CANNOLI
July 21 2008 - TECHNO BEAT 2
July 14 2008 - TECHNO BEAT 1
July 7 2008 - THE INDIGESTIBLE HULK
June 30 2008 - KING GEORGE
June 23 2008 - PLAYING ONE ON TV
June 16 2008 - NEW MONDAY MORNING COLUMN - LIFE IS TOO SHORT - Finally, I saw the last episode of The Wire.
June 4 2008 - FLIP THIS CHANNEL - Buying first house leads to having many things on the mind.
May 29 2008 - BE AFRAID VERY AFRAID - The Canadian military is no longer some namby-pamby, truce-brokering, do-gooding, adventure-seeking, peacekeeping bunch of pacifiers
