PREPARING MY SUMMER
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| JESSE RYDER HUGHES BLOG PODCAST - October 3rd - FIRST PODCAST with Jesse. He talks about her current BLOG, learning as an actor and being a director for the first time with Matthew Toffolo! |
OVERCOMING MY SUMMER
Blog by Jesse Ryder Hughes
I’m getting ready for summer. There hasn’t been a lot on the acting front for me, but that is okay. I’m keeping myself busy. I’m getting deeper and deeper into improv and it is helping me out a lot. It is giving me a greater sense of place and conflict among other skills. It’s amazing how just letting my sense deepen my understanding of certain aspects of acting and the world. I’m performing on the mainstage this Friday and I am very excited.
With a lot of stuff happening I can’t quite overcome my summer. I am getting laid off of my job for the summer. So I am looking for work which is always no fun, but hey whatever. I have a lot of writing to do and my work with my improv/comedy partner is working out great, so I have things to look forward too. I also started writing a play that has been in my mind a lot. I was extremely intimidated by writing a play for the longest time. I would read Canadian actors bios and discover all these places around the world they had trained. I would feel pretty small with what I had accomplished compared to them, but I am understanding as well that no one else ever sees what I see and that makes me feel unique among this massive world. I’ve been watching a lot of nature shows and doing yoga. A weird combo I know. But they are both helping me realize that I am a part of a huge machine (nature show) and also I have great things to give and I am big within my own world (yoga). Fun stuff to think about that a lot of people don’t get the chance to really think about, because of the rat race.
A lot has been on my mind about my work opportunities here. I have been thinking of going to New York maybe some time next year. At the same time I want to be a part of some oncoming revolution that I would hope would happen in Canada. I believe in Toronto with seeing so many talents. It is depressing to think that commercial auditions are scarce here. My friend said the other day that he knew it would be hard to get a job, but not getting auditions. I think these reasons are a huge reason why I am turning to my own work and finding the right people to work with. When I do that I start not to lose focus on audition technique and all those other things you need to master to get the job. I get off balance so easily, so I have to start making firm decisions. I am going to practice auditioning so I can get better. It will be a focus to get me the job so I can keep fighting for what I want to do and funding my own work with all my friends.
I have to say I am fearless in auditions. If I screw something up I really analyze it after to help myself be better. “My teacher said no matter how good it is you can always do better. Keep searching.”
I went and saw that same teacher in a play the other day and he said something that made me feel really good. He is a veteran too. He said that he’s not sure sometimes about the text he is speaking. He says to say the text like you understand it and it will start to make sense. You have to just do it. It’s a valuable lessen of how not to feel insecure about the lines you are saying. Just say them even if they are bad. That awareness will help you understand where in the piece you need to figure out what is it you are actually saying.
I have two plays coming up at the end of May. I’m excited, but my one character I have had the worst time portraying. I have figured a lot out about my own feelings towards the part and I have let them go, so I’m excited to go into my next rehearsal to see what happens. I felt when I played the character before I had a lot of people who put a lot of trust in me and that messed me up a bit. I started worrying about keeping my reputation in that realm. I didn’t stop to realize that I had already established a good reputation. I put more pressure on myself. Not anymore. I am going to balance myself in this love for the art and what I want to give to people. We’ll see. I have a feeling it will be very good.
The business for me lately has been put to the side again. I constantly do that. An interesting thing that came up with some friends of mine was that they were mad at ACTRA’s magazine and saying that is just ACTRA kissing each other’s asses with weird awards. I agreed a bit. I read the magazine and was disappointed that I didn’t learn a lot from it but who won what. I try to recognize if it’s jealousy or something else so I don’t want to comment on it any further. I do support ACTRA with all my heart though even though I don’t know the full details actors definitely need a union.
As I the summer approaches and I won’t be acting this summer I have to do some really hard work and get ready for the next year . I am going to make goals of going to bed early, eating right and drinking occasionally as a reward and most of all listening more to my heart than I do my peersCLICK HERE and read more BLOGS from Jesse Ryder Hughes.
