Peter Brusikiewicz Weekly Blog March 25th
I am 25 years old. That means that I have lived a quarter of a century. A lot of the things I do regret. But if I would not regret them, then I would not learn from them. Do you get my drift? You see, I believe that we are here on earth to learn, to gain knowledge and wisdom. I do not think that once we leave this earth, it is the end of us, and the end of the knowledge of self. I think that there is far more waiting for us after this world. There is another world awaiting us, far more complicated and developed, that our primitive minds cannot even comprehend it. That is why I feel that life is kind of like homework. There are many things that we have to do in life that we dislike. But everything that we do, Good or bad, evolves us in a certain way. You know the feeling that you get when you do your homework? You hate it. I know because I do too. But do you not find the feeling rewarding when you ace that big test and you know that all the hard work paid off. Well that is what life is to me at the moment. Put your work in, and in the end you will be rewarded. The values that we hold and our individual point of view on life will change through time. But our thoughts are the reality. The reality is not what other people think, but what you think. What you think is your reality and therefore, it is the only reality. I feel that we are all alone in this world in a certain kind of way. There is the external world: The materialistic world that we live in where we interact with others. Then there is the other world. The world that people do not seem to explore enough. This is the internal world. The world within us: Our thoughts and Ideas; Our beliefs and values; our fears and joys; and many other things that we tend not to explore. Yet, it seems to me that we do not put in enough time to look into this world for answers. Instead, we watch T.V, go out and party, or do other activities that keep us from exploring this inner world. Maybe we are too afraid to dig deep inside of ourselves because we will see how unhappy we are. It is such a complex world that the basic languages that we have are not capable to put into words this world. What I mean by this is that if someone asks you how you are feeling, you will be able to word it simply in such a way that they get some idea of how you feel. But really, will they truly understand what you really feel? No. NOONE will! And in this sense, I feel that we are all alone on earth in one way or the other. There is nothing wrong with being alone. Some people are afraid of solitude. For some strange reason, I crave it. Which is why I am not home sick living in New York. So far away from my close friends and family. There are moments where I fall out of this train of thought and lose myself. But when in this train of thought, I feel under control. I feel as if I am fully in control of who I become, as I shape and mold my spirit and body through time. It is how I have developed my character through a quarter of a century of trials and errors. I now know what works for me and what doesn’t. Don’t get me wrong, there are moments where I lose myself to temptation, and question this point of view on life, which I have developed. But it has become so alive inside of me, that I will never lose it fully. I don’t even bother to spend my energy on arguing over senseless shit. Why waste my energy arguing with others, when that same energy can be converted to positive energy and used for the better. Don’t get me wrong, when there is an argument with people about whatever it may be, I will brush it off and forget about it as to not spend my time on it. But I will not forget it! Whatever it may be about, with that person, no matter how close they are to me, I will brush it off, but I will not forget it! And in the future I know what I have to be careful about when dealing with those people, if I ever even want to deal with them again. The same goes for me. Whatever I learn about myself, I will not forget it and I will learn to deal with it and confront it. You can find the good in everything. Whenever I have a bad day, I go home and I reflect and I try and think what I learned from that bad day. What can I take out of it to make me better and stronger? Wherever there is the bad, there is also the good…the yin and the yang. In order to know your good, you have to know your bad, bad people do not even know that they are bad. If you would be good your whole life, then how would you even know that you are good? How would you be able to compare? Same goes for if you are bad. “When you are weak, then you are strong”. How would you know that you are strong if you have never been put in a position that really tested your strength? You have to go through your bad, you have to be weak, in order to know what you are made of. You have to dig deep inside of you to find these things. You have to search this inner world of yours that no one knows of, but you! And rather than rewarding ourselves for coming through hard times, and taking the wisdom and knowledge that we have gained from it, why do we tend to regret it more than be happy that we have went through it? Life is not perfect. We have to learn to roll with the punches. As strange as it may seem, I feed well off of my own misery. People that are afraid to die are afraid to live, to take risks, and to leave the comfort zone that they are in. I have my objective in life, and that is my main concentration, and that is to conquer myself! This is what I believe, and so, this is my reality!
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