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When a shopping mall is overtaken by a gang of organized crooks, it's up to the a mild-mannered security guard to save the day.
For a few months I worked as a Security Guard in a skyscraper building and my boss looked exactly like Paul Blart. And he acted exactly like him too. So when I first saw the movie trailer for Paul Blart: Mall Cop I thought Kevin James met my old boss and came up with the idea from him. It is scary how similar they both look alike.
My boss attempted to mentor me into a 'great' security guard as he also took his job very seriously. So serious it was pathetic for me and I was kind of a jerk to him. I really didn't think much of the guy but felt sorry for him because I knew his great dream was to be a police officer. But because that dream didn't become true, he settled for the security job and tried to eat away the pain he felt inside by gorging on food like I never saw before.
And that mustache! Why did he have it? A sure way to gain a lack of respect from people is to grow a 70s porno-stach. There's no way you can look up to anyone like that these days.
Watching Paul Blart: Mall Cop made me think about that time in my life and where all the people end up who seem to not figure out their niche in this world. I guess they are called losers and Hollywood sure likes to make films about them. Judd Apatow has made an entire career out of it as he seems to be the king of the Hollywood Loser with dozens of proteges behinds him.
But what makes Paul Blart different is that he's a loser with integrity and a giant heart. You can't help but feel for the guy. Apatow's films to me are more about losers who are losers for a reason with the exception of a few characters.
The setup of this film took way too long though. It's almost 30 minutes in before the plot really gets going and that's way too long for today's audience. We got what they were telling us 10 minutes in. Paul Blart is a guy who tries to take his security job seriously so he can rationalize the rest of his life.
And we got that a situation was going to happen where Blart was finally going to step up and challenge his lifelong fears in life and actually attempt to be a hero. We know that because that's what almost half the movies are about these days. A setup of someone in a down situation, then see them rise up in a complex situation and also see them get to know themselves a bit better so they can rise again.
So why all the setups in this film? Things kept getting worse for Mr. Blart. It got so bad you almost felt like you were in a tragic drama than a comedy that was suppose to make us laugh.
Too bad because when things finally got going, this movie wasn't that bad. There were a lot of funny moments and Kevin James sure is an athletic guy for someone that overweight.
Paul Blart: Mall Cop is just one of those okay films. It's entertaining (I guess) when you're watching it and it's something you're going to forget about an hour after watching it.
Funny thing happened to me after watching this film that really related to Paul Blart. I was sitting in in a table at the Multiplex coffee-shop and the man across from me started to have chest pains. I attempted to see what was wrong when he just collapsed on the ground as was having a heart attack. I screamed for a doctor and/or nurse and got someone to call 911 on their cell phone.
Then the theater security and manager came running. They had no idea what to do as they obviously weren't trained for these situation. So I immediately looked down on them for their incompetence. Just like people did to Paul Blart in the movie.
Our society looks down on the phonies of our world and I guess we've figured out that certain people in uniforms might as well be mannequin. I felt like I was one when I was a security guard because I knew I was just there for insurance reasons. I had no training and one day I put on a uniform and I was then suppose to know something. But I knew nothing at all.
There are a lot of Paul Blart's in the world and they make for a funny comedy. We don't need setups to these characters as we see them everyday. So I just wish they got to the funny stuff right away and this would of been a really good film.
Lesson for Hollywood: We know more than you think we know so just get to the point.