NEGATIVE COMMENTSHandling People's Negative Comments Christmas is here and I am completely broke again. I’ve exhausted all of the money I made off my Ontario Tourism commercials. I knew it wouldn’t last for long. Luckily I have smart parents that are guiding me through taxes ( they advised me to put some money aside and I did, so I think I am safe from the taxman). Column 13, the theatre company I always work with, is remounting the show that I did with them, which is exciting. That will go up in May. I have some things to look forward too. Lately my emotional state has been weird. I am getting mad at everyone I know. I don’t know if it is my supervising job. I’ve had to deal with a lot of crazy people lately and I am losing patience. It scares me, because I am an extremely patient person. When you have evil people yelling at you when you are trying to help can get frustrating and I always leave a little jaded from work. My friends around me are having problems dealing with their lives and are being critical of people that are working. It is easy to get caught in that world of hanging out and becoming bitter about the business. I think Toronto can and will have a great thriving community in the future, but a lot of people I know blame Toronto for their problems. We just need to open up Toronto’s heart and get people interested. I don’t know how, but I definitely know it is not by creating a star system, which I keep hearing about lately. It feels forced. Even Hollywood never created a star system, it just kind of happened with talented people. That was a little side rant. I guess what I am getting at is I can’t hang out with people that constantly frustrated. In the new year I want to make I had an audition last week for a John Cusack movie. I was excited about it and I talked to my dad and he said to go and have fun, because I love acting and I love being around it. He was right and I don’t here words like that from anyone else except myself and I tend to do the opposite of say I love acting these days. I prepared big time for this audition. I didn’t get a callback, but I know that I did a good job and the casting director gave me good feedback. I went in there confident and sure of myself and it felt amazing being like that. I haven’t been feeling like that this past year. I don’t want to leave anyone behind. I think that is a big fear that I have. I lower my level to fit in with everyone instead of stepping up to my full power. I’m afraid if I do then I am going to leave my friends and everyone in my life in the mist, but I won’t be happy or be listening to my heart if I don’t do go already and take some major risks. It’s easy to say, but hard to do, but you just do it. Go out there and fail in front of the best people in the business and get back up and do it again and again and keep showing off your shit. I am led to think that one small stupid move can screw my life over. I know lots of people that think this. I especially do not go big enough all the time. I have a lot to do and not think about in the next year. I am now 25 and having a lot of crazy thoughts. I want to keep building my resume, which feels so small compared to most people which really is going against me as well, but I’ll make it bigger.
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