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The Sack of the Redmond Line's Gerrald
short story


[1][2][3][4][5][6][7]


An answering shout came from somewhere behind Minnie.

"Bernice," yelled Annette, "Showing a bit of disloyalty already, hum? Minnie has already assured me she intends to comply fully with the spirit of our laws."

And Annette grabbed Minnie and Francis by the arms and steered them out the door.

In the corridor, she explained. "The spirit," said Annette, "Not the letter of the law. We in the higher echelons of the Fat Ladies' Mafia understand that sometimes genetics prevents an heir from being suitably padded. So, in order to preserve the royal line of Fairy Godmothers, we've invented - the Fat Suit."

"The what?" said Minnie, and was echoed quietly by the pirate chief.

"Only for state occasions, of course," said Annette, "When you will be seen by the rest of the girls. The name is fairly self-explanatory. Most of the time, you will be just Minnie Finster from New New Jersey, despicably skinny as always, with a nice little career as a writer, and a nice looking if despicably skinny husband."

"But what about my duties as - "

"Almost completely ceremonial - except for absolutely necessary looting and killing," said Annette. "Treat it as a part-time job, to support your writing. None of us really put in overtime on this. It's just a lot more fun than the PTA."

Francis smiled, and squeezed Minnie's hand. "And, aboard the Hergulator, I can do most of the pirating and looting and killing while you take all the time you want to write. Think of all the life experience you'll be getting!"

Minnie sighed, wondering how long she could stretch out the time in space. "It's bound to take us a lot of time to round up all those space rats," she said slowly.

"Yes, I think so," said Francis.

" - and mother's still fairly young - "

"Bound to last years," said Annette.

"That's what I thought," said Minnie. Francis helped her into a space suit, and replaced the bug-head helmet on his own head. "To battle!" he bellowed, and the fifty pirates streamed through the airlock back to their own ship.

Minnie grinned. She felt more alive than she ever had in New New Jersey. Wait'll the papers get a load of this! she thought, and stepped through the airlock into history.

Annette smiled, and closed the airlock behind the two adventurers. A tear rolled down her cheek, and she brushed it away with the back of one pudgy hand. "True love," she said, "It always gets me so choked up."

THE END




[1][2][3][4][5][6][7]

My dream cast for the Minnie Finster feature film?

Minnie Finster -- Amanda Peet
Annette -- Kathy Bates
Gertrude -- Camryn Manheim
The Captain -- Robin Williams

and The Pirate Captain -- Adrian Brody


Make your suggestions using the form below!

Cast the Minnie Finster feature!
Please note that all fields followed by an asterisk must be filled in.
First Name*
E-mail Address
City
Country
Minnie Finster
Annette
Bobby
The Captain
Gertrude
Mama Finster
The Pirate Captain
Other: (role & name)

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