Matthew Toffolo Blog February 13th
These are the worst times of the year. For the next 7 weeks (47 days to be exact) I have no religion. There is nothing for me to follow to help me motivate and inspire myself to great things. In the movie Bull Durham the Susan Sarandon character famously began the film with "I believe in the church of baseball. I've tried every religion......but I've only been able to believe in the religion of baseball." Well I believe in the church of baseball too, and when that season is over I turn over to the church of NFL football. Unfortunately football doesn't run into baseball so I am forced to live in discomfort for 2 months where I have no religion. Matthew Toffolo and Sports Sports are a big thing in my world. I am a workaholic so sports are the only thing that takes me away from my work. It is always there for me as everytime I play or watch baseball and football; I learn something new about the game and about myself. It's poetry in the lines of competition. A group of people from different social, economic, ethnic and religious backgrounds each doing their jobs for a common goal. They become a team and whatever political or religious belief they have is thrown out the window in the cause of the drive for victory. It's the classic concept of collaboration. The more people work for the team, the better they get at their jobs and the more they learn about life. My religion is sports and I have to live in pain until the baseball season begins. Matthew Toffolo and his Father's side of the family I wasn't brought up a religious person at all. My Father was Catholic I guess but I don't remember anyone from his family, including him, ever talking about it or ever going to church. I asked him one day and he basically said he was an agnostic. His father, my grandfather, seemed to turn into an atheist during his life. He spent his early years in the Italian Army and moved up the ranks in Mussolini’s army that he became one of his direct right-wing soldiers during WWII. If you've studied the War you know that Italy kind of went through a major "identity crisis." And with that, so did him. He believed in something important he thought and all of a sudden he was told otherwise by his superiors and in time sort of realized that he was completely wrong. When I think of my Grandfather, I always go back to the 1954 film The Bridge on the River Quay when the Alex Guinness character (who looked like my Grandfather) suddenly realized that his personal passion of building the bridge was a major mistake for his Army. The shock in his eyes was like the shock in my Grandfather's eyes that never went away.
My Grandfather would never talk about his past and I sort of never really got to know him at all or my family's history. My Dad's mother died before I was born and I guess I was a bit scared of my Grandfather to ever ask him about anything. There was just so much pain for me to handle. Pain that he never dealt with. He spoke English with a strong Italian accent and seemed to be very sad and worn out all of the time. He was the first Toffolo to move to Canada in 1948, bringing his wife and three young boys (my father being one of them) to make a new life. He started the family tree for us that have blossomed into some very nice branches. All three of his kids figured out this Capitalist minded society and have done very well for themselves. My Uncle Denny is a Surgeon as my Uncle Jack was the President of a General Electric plant in Ontario. And my father became a very successful Engineer for General Motors. And their kids all seem to be doing fine too. Well except for the Engineer's son who's in that crazy movie business! Matthew Toffolo and his Mother's side of the family My Mother's family, I don't know much about either. I guess she was raised Protestant, but she also never talked about it. She is full Irish as her parent's parents both moved to Canada in the early 20th century. There are so many secrets and lies inside of my Mom's family that I don't even know where to begin. Matthew Toffolo and his search for religion Religion was a thing that we all laughed at the supper table when we told stories of friends reading the bible and believing in Jesuit Christ as our savior. It all seemed to be a bunch of hooey. We had the bible at our house as it was in one of our many book shelves. I picked it up from time to time, but the language was too confusing for me to really read through. Growing up I guess I would of called me an agnostic or an atheist. It depended on what day you asked me that question. But always in the back of my mind I thought there had to be something. What was the point of me living this life being me and feel all these emotions I've been feeling. My girlfriend is not a religious person at all, but was raised in a religious family. Her parents still go to church every Sunday, as does her brother. And her grandfather was a Minister. I always found that entertaining since she has very little religious beliefs but is also a bit of an expert of organized religion. She knows pretty much everything from Muslim to Catholic and is a master of the bible, knowing more than most Ministers and Priests do from my experience. If religion was a Jeopardy category, she would get every question. But in our household it is me who is the more spiritual person of the relationship. And I guess we happen to live in sin too!, as we are not married yet and live with each other.
Matthew Toffolo and Organized Religion I never understood organized religion at all. When I was 20, I went to every religion place I could find and talked to their leaders to figure out what this all meant. I used to go to different churches too on Sunday to witness their Sermons. It was funny all of these people being so passionate about it and trying to convince me to join their cult..er...group. I kind of felt jealous of them as they seemed so much happier than I was. But still, I couldn't do it as it just didn't seem right. I was believing in a version of a higher being, something that was bigger than this little world we live in, but I just wasn't buying this community that people wanted me to join. And if there was a God, then he or she would understand that. I remember people tying to give me guilt trips saying that I am probably going to Hell and not to the great magic place of Heaven. But if Heaven didn't want me for having Integrity with myself, then I didn't want to go there. It was as simple as that. And I sort of knew that if there was a God, then he sort of liked me. I was born with a lot of gifts and into a pretty nice world. And I'm not bad looking too!! So God has to have liked me. So he understands my decisions. Matthew Toffolo and his search for religion But it was the senses of community that people have in these organizations that I admired most of all. I was at my girlfriend's brother's Christmas Play last year and realized something for the first time. I got up from my seat and sat at the back of this sold out event of 300+ for awhile as they were all getting ready to watch the story of Jesuit Christ. I took a good look and studied at all of these people. There were lawyers, accountants, teachers, self-employed store owners, doctors, middle-managers, retail workers, basically every category of successful people in our society. And all of these people were members of this club. They met every Sunday to discuss this magical person with special powers for an hour or so. But most importantly, they all talked before and afterwards about their kids, their homes, their new toy they just bought. They chatted about what they were up to in their careers, helped each other out, and passed along their business cards. It was an amazing thing. I chatted with a Minister shortly afterwards and he told me that he really doesn't have to worry about much. Money problems in the church? No problem. There's someone in the congregation who's a money man and understands how to make money. Let's bring in the accountant to help out too. A broken pipe in the woman's bathroom? No problem. Let's call that Plumber who always comes in with his wife and young child almost every Sunday and sits in the 4th row. And it's a church. It's a place of God. It's not like these people can charge full price for their work. Matthew Toffolo and Community It's all about being a part of a community. Togetherness. I understand that. I believe in that. I need that as do all of us. We are a race of packs as we need to be with each other in order to survive. That is why I believe in the church of Baseball during the Baseball season and the church of Football during the Football season. For February and March, I believe in the Church of remembering the Football season and waiting for the Baseball season to begin. I found my religion a long time ago. I just didn't know it until recently.
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