Matthew Toffolo Blog April 4thI was picking up my girlfriend at the airport last night and I was hoping her flight was going to be delayed a bit because I was right in the middle of watching the NCAA Basketball Final at the Airport Bar. I got caught up in the March Madness during my time I was sick with the flu and was really impressed with the eventual winner Florida and their players and coaches. They just were a total team, all playing for their teammates and never themselves. It was fun to watch these guys play as you could see that they will all probably lead very successful lives because of their recent experiences. There is no big star player, no destined NBA star, just a bunch of guys from different places in the world formed together to dribble a ball and try to put it in a basket and learning the secret of life in the meantime. As I was watching the game, the gentleman beside me asked what this game was all about. I said it was the college basketball final game. GUY: You mean it’s over after this. ME: This is it. GUY: What do the winners get? ME: A lifetime of glory. GUY: How much money do they make? ME: Being that it’s College, nothing at all. GUY: But they get a free pass to the NBA though right. ME: Not exactly. The team that’s ahead really doesn’t have a big star. Some will probably make it to the pros, but the other team Ohio State actually has the blue chippers. Two guys who are destined for a great NBA career. GUY: Then how come that team isn’t winning? ME: They’re just not the better overall team. GUY: And these guys make no money! ME: It’s not about money. GUY: What’s it about then? ME: I don’t know, learning about getting the best out of yourself. Learning that greatness inside of you that you never thought you even had. Being apart of something that’s the top of their profession and being the best at it. Being a part of something that no one will ever be able to take away from them. Being apart of a team and knowing that you have a special part in it. Sharing it with your loved ones who were there for you and knowing that you never would be there if it wasn’t for them. Total happiness because you had a huge goal and you accomplished it. Knowing that you’re one of the very few people who can actually say that you’re the best and you’ve pushed yourself to the limit and you’ve made a better person out of yourself and hopefully because of that, you’ve made a better place in the world. GUY: Whatever…….and all they get is a trophy? Seems like I’m better off then they are. I’m happy and I don’t have to work as hard. I looked over and saw that it had been 15 minutes since my girlfriend’s plane arrived, so I got up and made sure I didn’t miss her. I hadn’t seen her in a week and I was really happy to see her. She really challenged herself in Los Angeles getting her work out to the proper people and I was really proud of her. Wanting to Feel Total Happiness I have this dream a lot about running out of a building and jumping around like I’m in a Musical happy as I can be. I don’t think I’ve ever been totally satisfied in my life before. If I go back in my past the happiest I’ve ever been in my life was when I was Backpacking through Europe in my early 20’s and I was in Interlocken, Switzerland. I was at this crazy local party that I don’t remember how I got there and I sat back, looked at my surroundings and was proud of myself. I had a magical day. I bungee-jumped, I met tons of interesting people, I climbed a mountain with this cool chick and got to look down and see my accomplishments, I smoked a Hash Joint with a Switz Police Officer in a park. It was just a really fun day. For about 10 seconds I caught myself in the midst of my life and was happy. Then I realized that I had to get up in a few hours to catch a train and begin my lonely adventures in my next town in Europe not knowing what to expect. That happy moment went away and turned into anxiety. But that moment was the first time I ever felt total satisfaction. I went to this Famous Psychic once for a reading and he told me that I’m one of those interesting cases. He said that I’m going to be very successful and all my dreams will come true but I’m never going to be happy for long because I’m always going to look ahead to the next challenge. That I’m a type-A case, never totally satisfied. I didn’t believe that then, but I see his point now. I’m never happy. Everything I do, the events, the films I’ve made etc… I look at what can and could be better instead of any present successes that our happening. The reading series two weeks ago was a perfect example. A terrific night all around: 132 people in attendance, three great scripts, a great moderator, people all seeming to be having a good time. But I wasn’t happy. I want more. I want it to be better. During the night instead of taking in the successful evening and just enjoying the work we all did, I wrote down what needed to be better and wanted to go home to work on it. This is why I get sick every 7-8 months. I work my butt off and never take a day off and I then burn myself out. I get really sick for about a week and have to stay in bed. And this drives me crazy because all I want to do is feel better but I can’t. It’s a pattern I have and I never learn from it. Hard work is my greatest strength and greatest weakness because I don’t know how to stop. It’s like that person at the gym you see who works out like a maniac. They’re in shape but they always take it too far and end up hurting themselves. Either by working out too much or wanting some extra incentives so their body can grow muscle faster. Should it be like this? Where is that balance if there is one? I love to work as it’s something I like doing better than anything, minus watching or playing baseball. I love the challenge and I especially love competing with people in the business world. I sometimes set up competition with people on purpose just so I can motivate myself. But when I’m working I can’t say I’m happy because I’m always in a different mode. The mode of bettering myself and my chosen profession. Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods get ripped in the media sometimes for not really paying attention to what’s going on in society. They always play the line never making statements that could show their political side or that could be controversial. These guys have a lot of power, but all they care or cared about is being the best at their profession. For some insane reason, they don’t allow woman to play at the Masters Golf course. It’s seems like a ridiculous thing given the time we’re at in our society. Tiger Woods doesn’t make a comment on it but if he decided to say that he thinks woman should be able to play at this golf course, I’m sure he could influence this to change. He’s got that much power. No one wants to upset Tiger because of all the money he makes for the sport. But Tiger doesn’t even think about things like this because all he’s worried about and all he cares about is making his golf game better and winning tournaments. There are many examples of people like this. The people with the power who do nothing or little about it because all they are focused on is their own work. In 2002, during Michael Jordan’s comeback, he was playing an exhibition game on September 11th. It took someone to tell him that this was the anniversary or the Terrorist attacks. He was so focused on making his basketball skills the best they can be, that he wasn’t even aware of what was happening in the present world. I understand that this is a dangerous thing. I’m not going to say that I’m like Michael Jordan or Tiger Woods in my skills and ability, but I can understand what these guys are thinking. I am so focused on my own world, that I totally forget what’s around me. I know that this is not a necessarily a good thing and I’m now trying to do something about it. I am taking coffee chats with people who have that what’s going on in the world savvy. I’m reading 2 or 3 papers every morning seeing what people are talking about. I realized now that there is a lot of nonsense communication happening out there. Newspaper articles that have no relevance about anything and a lot of negativity talk. A LOT OF NEGATIVE TALK. It’s beginning to drive me crazy. So maybe it’s good to be ignorant and focus on what you love and live in a shell. Maybe doing that will make the world a better place. Maybe not. Tiger Woods entertains people. He shows people what greatness is. In my opinion, he contributes a lot to our society and he makes the world a better place. In order for him to be great, he has to have a one track mind. Is that a good or bad thing to be totally focused and self-centered around one thing? Maybe it is. It beats reading nonsense newspaper writer’s articles knowing that that’s not really the truth anyway. There’s so much crap out there, it takes weeks figuring out what’s true and what isn’t. Might as well just focus on what you love.
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