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LIFE AS AN ACTRESS

Life as an Actress
by Precious Chong

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I got a commercial! Yeah! It was for Scotia bank. As luck would have it I also managed to get sick and a cold sore in the 2 days between the callback and the shoot day. At the fitting I had a fever and so much cover up on my cold sore it looked like I had a bread crumb stuck to the side of my mouth. But I got through and met some cool people. It was a long shoot and they had trouble finding the right thing for me to wear. I felt bad for wardrobe. “No dark colored suits, no beige, no green, no purple…” I ended up in this rust colored puffy sleeved blouse that was reminiscent of the skater blouse episode of Seinfeld. It was silk satin so I couldn’t sweat or spill or splash anything. They curled my hair and put so much hairspray it really didn’t move. I basically just had one line and a reaction shot. I did it a bunch of times. I felt like a mime. I tried to do it right. “Don’t work so hard” the director said to me. Oh god, I hate that. I hate when I’m trying too hard. I hate when I get all kabuki. But f- it. It was job. I haven’t seen it but it is running. So yeah!!!

I also took a great class. It was a solo show workshop taught by the amazingingly beautiful and talented Tracey Erin Smith. I had such a good time and was completely inspired by all the good writing and great stories and brave talented people.

I’m taking Adam Lazarus’ Bouffon intensive in a couple weeks. I’m trying to get a new show together.

I had a bunch of auditions in the past month or so. But nothing this past week and half and I have to keep myself from descending into the pit of darkness. The abyss of no auditions. The black hole of nothingness.

I also took this month off from my acting class because I’m taking the workshop and I need to save money. But I miss it. I miss the camaraderie and the work.

So right now I go to exercise classes called things like “boot camp” or “muscle pump” at Exxtreme (I hate that they use two x’s) Fitness and rent movies daily from my neighborhood Blockbuster Video. I’m fitting the profile of the recently separated mother of a 2 and half year old. How did this happen? I am now obsessed with Ryan Gosling.

I need to find ways to make more money. The eternal dilemma of the freelance artist. I’ve been helping this friend of my mom’s who decorates for parties. It’s fun but I need something more consistent. “You should teach acting to kids” “You should get a pilates certificate” “What about a real estate license?” “You should do something with clothes you’re so good with them”. I’m too old to be a stripper and waitressing is too tiring. I wrote a character when I did the Groundlings writing lab about this older woman who was working at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf (a sort of California Second Cup). She was an empty nester divorcee doing a job with teenagers and insolent twenty year olds. Bernie. I feel I bit like Bernie right now. Adrift. Blown sideways through life.

p.s. the last sentence is the title of a one woman show that I wanted to see but never did but nevertheless inspired me to write my own show. Mad props.

Life as an actress, Life as an actress

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