Jesse Ryder Hughes Blog
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I met with a past teacher and mentor of mine today for coffee. I haven’t really been able to talk to her since I left school three years ago. She was an amazing influence on me as a person and in my work. I felt that I needed to talk to her for a long time now. She is a brilliant teacher and she has always helped me find ways to face my fears.
I talked to her for awhile and I started telling her of my year. I didn’t actually realize how successful of a year I have been having until I started telling all about my good news of getting an agent and booking a big commercial and the plays I have done this year. We started talking about my nice guy attitude and the softness that I have within the innocence that I fight for. She asked me a really important question today. One I’ll never forget. What do you think is going to happen if you say no to people and do what is really in your heart?
It was really hard for me to answer. I was shaking and I couldn’t think of what could happen and then it came pouring out. People hating me, people cutting my career short, People would think I’m selfish, rude, difficult. I said some other things, but I can’t recall right now. Anyway, we kind of joked about it after. We both found my answers humorous. Hehe. It was a load off my chest.Today was probably the most gratifying day of the year so far.
After seeing my teacher and friend off, I decided on some things. I had to have a serious chat with my inner voice that has been telling me how to live my life. It was time to let him know that it was time for me to stretch my mind into other realms and be brave about it and that it is going to be okay, because right now the best thing for me to be happy is to be selfish and take what
I know everyone in their own right is a good person. Journeys of life are incredibly valuable. I am going to make mine a good one whatever the case. I have decided since there is hardly any work for actor’s to take matters into my own hands. I am going to write poetry and comedy and write plays for my friends. Five hours a day is my acting time. I am going to recollect my body through voice and movement. I’ve been working intellectually and heartfelt all year and I am starting to realizing abusing your body and neglecting it is awful. I feel uncomfortable in my body right now even. I’ve decided to quit drinking alcohol. People are already asking me why. I just want to quit, because I want to protect my body in any way. I want my body open to impulse and freedom. I’ve had my share of drinking, so at least I didn’t miss out on anything. I’m so excited.
I have booked a plane ticket to New York. I’ve never been anywhere and now that I have some money I am going to do something crazy by myself. I’m gonna see theatre, write in central park, check out the museums and tourist attractions, hit the New York comedy club. I’m staying in a hostel, which I’ve never done. I’ve never even been on a plane before. I told my parents worried they were gonna get mad, but they were actually very happy. I was going anyway, but I’m glad they were really cool. Which, they are in the first place. It’s going to be amazing. All alone. No one I know around anywhere. My past left behind. I think I might catch the travelling bug.
Tonight I decided to do some monologues. Already my acting is 100 times freer than before. I feel I am on my way now. Huge leap. I feel my arms can brush away the nonsense finally. I know it’s going to take practice, but I think and feel I found my focus today. I’m gonna be a good actor after all.
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