Jesse Ryder Hughes' Blog
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There hasn’t been too much going on in my life since my last blog. I’ve been working really hard on a show with my friend that has been developing since last May. We have given ourselves a lot of challenges. It feels like the right time to do it, because I just got an agent and I’m doing more commercial auditions now. Our work is all passion and heart and we get to use our voices in a great way. So it balances out the stuff that I don’t necessarily want to do. So I am really excited about it.
Jesse Ryder Hughes - an actor's guilt
I am having insecure feelings of guilt right now. These feeling soared especially during rehearsals for Romeo and Juliet when I had to take a commercial. It’s really hard as a young actor having to turn things down or away that pay a lot of money. I have found free companies that are extremely supportive of it and some other companies don’t deal with it as well. Being a young actor I have to do what is right for me. I personally never look out for myself, I always put other people ahead of me and it bites me in the ass a lot of times.
Jesse Ryder Hughes gets bitten on the ass
I got a commercial for two R & J rehearsal days and I wouldn’t be needed all the time, just an afternoon and part of the next day, so I could still make a lot of rehearsal. I accepted the commercial, but was made to feel that I was on the line for Romeo. I thought that it was my fault if the play failed. I tried not stressing out about it, but it was so stressful. The only thing I could think of doing was giving my all. I thought my performance hit a good level, it could always have been better. I also ended up getting sick during the performance.
How do I work when it feels like a lot of pressure is put on me? I guess you just do it anyway with all of your heart. I stopped to think about my work and I was at rehearsal early everyday, and I was there when I wasn’t even needed. I always get this feeling that people tend to really bring the hammer down on me, even though I’m trying my hardest. I do admit I need more organizational skills and that will help.
Commercial success for Jesse Ryder Hughes
I got a Union commercial and I desperately needed the money. I wasn’t getting paid barely anything for R&J, so I had no choice. I felt though I let down a friend, myself, the cast and the show for booking this commercial when I didn’t know I was getting it. The guilt I received drove me so mad to the point of quitting that I stopped and realized that I can’t live like this. If I commit to something in the future that is free or hardly any money I’ll need to take that commercial during the rehearsal process, but I would never screw anyone over. I’m gonna let my agents know what days I’m rehearsing so maybe they can book around me, but young actors are striving so hard and no income comes in a lot of the time. Most young actors understand this and free theatre companies understand it too. It’s a hard time and we need to help each other. We do need to keep our commitments and honor them too. I will never forget that, but when I do all my best to honor that commitment and feel bad about it in the end, because I accept a commercial not taking up too much time, to pay rent, then something isn’t right. I tend to blame myself a lot, but it isn’t about blaming even. I don’t want to be taken advantage of and my nice guy tendencies really do need some hardening up, or I will always let people walk on me and that is pain that nobody should ever have to bear.
Jesse Ryder Hughes recommends
My good friend Shawn Perron, who is a beautiful singer songwriter, is putting on a performance at Unit 102 theatre Studio. Contact Luis Fernades 416-532-4422. luisfernades@hotmail.com I’ve been there to watch Shawn grow and it is amazing and soulful music. I highly recommend him.
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