It has been a good week, and I am starting to go out for auditions set by my new agency. I am still thinking about what I have done and what I could still work on; I am feeling the experience grow. I plan to talk to more people about their experiences about being in an audition room, and I have put so much time into plays and scripts that I have completely cleared commercials from my mind.
I have noticed myself trying to create layers and to be creative within 1 minute auditions. This thought process throws me off because I hesitate and therefore I don’t feel ready. How can I be ready for a minute audition with little to no idea of what to expect? I guess I have to let go right away; this thought makes the most sense.
Jesse Ryder Hughes and Jadedness
As a young actor, an idea that I have encountered many times is the idea of jadedness. If there is one thing that scares me more than failure, it is this thought process; I never want to become jaded. I had a discussion a while ago with a friend who projected his beliefs, not mine, upon me, predicting that I would get there, that I would become jaded. This thought really scared me. I understand that I have a problem, I listen to people too much and let it affect me, but I could not escape the idea of the future me complaining about what to do with my life; or how bad the business is. These thoughts were actually good, because they helped me define myself a bit more. To me jadedness is an easy way out. It is an excuse for people to blame something or someone other than themselves. I believe there is no reason to place blame, or to become jaded; we have to help each other. I wanted to help my friend, and he saw where I was coming from, but he wouldn’t accept my help. He looked at me as being young, but we can never lose that young part of us where the world is free and beautiful and full of gifts for our eyes to observe. We do have to grow up, but we have to take what we have been given, so we can understand what our lives have meant up to the present. My youthful vigor and love for what I am doing is what I am scared of losing by becoming jaded, so I won’t. Even if I have to fight it. It is a part of our artistic rights.
Jesse Ryder Hughes and Moby Dick
Finally, I am reading Moby Dick at the moment, and find that it is crazy and witty; definitely a good read if you are looking for a thought provoking adventure.
I thought that I would throw that out there.
