Jesse Ryder Hughes Blog Entry - February11th 2007
It is been just over a week since my last Blog. A lot of cool things have happened, like getting my first commercial with my new agents. The commercial is Union, so I am going to try to become an ACTRA apprentice tomorrow. I don’t know what is going to happen with the strike going on. I have reached the bottom of my income. It is frustrating to know I have to take the TTC all week this week. I have resorted to walking long distances. I Don’t mind though, it gives me time to think and wonder. Jesse Ryder Hughes playing Romeo I am playing Romeo right now. I am reprising the role from last year. It will be playing in Ottawa next week for high school kids, which is always an interesting experience. I remember all the obscenities yelled out at me during performance. I was called a necrophiliac while I kissed Juliet good-bye, before killing myself. I didn’t get mad or frustrated. Some people let these teenagers get under their skin, but I actually found a lot of humor in it all. Kids are kids and they are going to try to impress, and some will really be moved. It’s all fun. I definitely feel this is the last time I want to do shows geared toward high school students. I gave up a really cool play I wanted to do to do this. It was mainly getting money and visiting my grandma in Ottawa that sold me. Now that I am working on Romeo again I want to go deeper with his character. Jesse Ryder Hughes works hard to not work hard I was working with the girl playing Juliet, and we were working on the balcony scene. I was trying so hard to get it, a little too hard. I have to always remind myself to work hard at not working hard, otherwise I’ll start to push and not breathe. This is what was happening. I well was aware and getting frustrated with myself. Everyone knows beating yourself will not push you forward, it keeps you stuck. My director got my scene partner and I to run around the room. We were breathing hard and we dove right into the scene. It became all about the fun. I get wrapped up in the technical part so much that I always lose the fun. When I found the fun with Juliet, everything was magically there. This was a problem with me back in school. My teachers would always tell me just to have fun, because all the tools I’ve learned are applying themselves. Jesse Ryder Hughes and the personal journey It seems so simple, but so hard. When your body gets use to things being the same, even if it is beating yourself up, it is reluctant to change. Being brave and open minded are two keys to flying in this work. Being decisive in those actions is also a key. It is something I struggle with. I just have to commit to my actions more and that comes with having fun; being a kid again. Some actors have the talent to get past the things I struggle with, some can’t. It is such a personal journey. A strong building adventure that will continue. Anyway, the actor playing Juliet (who is doing an amazing job) and I kept working, and I found myself actually falling in love. The real emotion was there. It messed me up a little, because I started taking it personally, which is a bad idea. It is a part of the work. It has happened to me many times before with other emotions. This is the first time I let myself actually fall in love on stage. Getting to be this vulnerable place is not easy and that is why I love and respect true actors and artists. They choose to live in this state. The real challenge not letting it bleed over into my personal life. It feels like I am starting to balance myself on the line actor’s tread, between my work and my personal life with my family, friends and girlfriend. I would never expect for them to understand what I am going through. I think I have vented many times to all of them for no reason. This discovery of balance was a huge epiphany for me and a new respect for the work. I am going to go into rehearsal next week and play Romeo, go for it, and fall madly in love with Juliet. Jesse Ryder Hughes and Love Hopefully the high school students will realize that love is real. Making those kids see that is why I can’t be scared of blending my acting work and my personal life. The whole reason for me getting scared was that I have a girlfriend whom is my world and it scared me that I can go to an emotion that quickly with someone else. It has never happened before and it made me hold back, and what fun is working with an actor that is always bringing their own problems in the room. None. But it was the work and I understand that. I love feeling. Wow!
Jesse Ryder Hughes
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