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I have been thinking about time and self-fulfillment and how this business can slow down time to work against one's self-fulfillment. I have this on my mind today because my brother in-law is gravely ill. It came upon him suddenly and now we are not sure if he will live through the illness. It would be great if I could say that I live selflessly and my only concern is for him, his health, his mental strength to fight his condition. But I will confess that my thoughts at times turn inward.
Jane Clark's goals
I have very clear goals for my filmmaking career.
Movies I want to make, scripts I want to write, levels of success I am striving to meet. As we all know, though, to get one film off the page is usually a very long, drawn out, and frustrating process. It isn't good enough to write a good script. Then you have to find "name talent", then find the financing and there are a million ways that can come together. Then when everything appears to be good to go, talent drops off or financing falls out and you are back to scrambling to make it all happen. What if time runs out before you can accomplish what you are striving for? Because it can. One day you can have a cold, the next day you can be suffering from advanced acute leukemia.Jane Clark wonders if she has time to make her dreams come true
I'm not going anywhere with this necessarily. There are no answers. If life throws a curve ball, you deal with it. But at times like these, I can't help but wander into the "what if" territory. On these days, perhaps I work a little harder, push a little further, but with a little less joy.
I hope I will be a lucky person. Someone who doesn't contract cancer or get hit by a car before my dreams come true. I'll live like that anyway, and hopefully, my targeted actors will love my scripts and some fat cat will write a lovely check to finance my film and next year at this time I'll be blogging about finishing my first feature film and how that fulfills me...until the next script, the next search for talent, the next pursuit of financing...and so on and so on and so on...
Jane Clark
Writer/Director/Producer
FilmMcQueen, LLC
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