Eyes Have It 2
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| KILL THE BATMAN - The writer explains where his is coming from in this RADIO INTERVIEW of the column - turn on the volume if you're angry or just want to listen to some good entertainment! |
EYES HAVE IT 2
By Daren Foster
**Is Joe the Plumber running for President?**
So the Campaign 2008 presidential debates are in the rearview mirror and all that is left to help voters decide are ga-jillions of dollars of advertisements and the dulcet tones of punditry pontificating. From this vantage, we can now ask: Who won? The answer is a no-brainer. Hands down, Joe the Plumber walked away victorious from the debates.
Joe the Plumber? Who the fuck is Joe the Plumber?!
A fair question and one that begs further inquiry. In this period of tumultuous economic turmoil, multi-fronted wars, impending environmental cataclysm, when so much is clearly at stake for whoever gets the keys to the White House from its present occupant (the name which escapes me), why did Joe the Plumber figure so prominently in the final candidate face-off? Maybe that’s the wrong tack. In this period of tumultuous economic turmoil, multi-fronted wars, impending environmental cataclysm, etc., etc., why wouldn’t Joe the Plumber figure so prominently, as a diversionary tactic from the overwhelming task ahead, a simplistic icon of the everyday workingman who stands to prosper with the implementation of the simplistic solutions offered throughout the debates.
Joe the Plumber, or as FoxNews.com described him:
In truth, Joe the Plumber is Joe Wurzelbacher, a guy who expressed displeasure at Barack Obama’s tax plan to the candidate’s face at a rally in Ohio. As has become his trademark signature move throughout this campaign, John McCain screwed up the name, calling him Joe Wurzelberger before settling on the much easier-to-remember moniker, Joe the Plumber. He talked relentlessly about him and directly to him through the TV during the final debate. The Senator from Arizona had a plan that was going to help Joe, Joe the Plumber, buy the plumbing company he worked for while That Other One sitting across from McCain was going to steal all Joe’s money in order to spread the wealth around, Bolshie-style. “Hey, Joe, you’re rich! Congratulations!” McCain bellowed near the end of the debate, like he was Ed McMahon knocking on the door of the latest Publisher’s Clearinghouse winner.
And we sit back on our haunches, wringing our hands and gnashing our teeth, wondering aloud why voters are disengaged and turnout dips to historic lows. Let me offer up as evidence, Your Honour, a major political figure genuflecting nonsensically toward what is, essentially, a campaign stop heckler, laying the groundwork for what will become a media frenzy of mythology. Why, oh why can’t we get the kids out to vote? Don’t they realize their great grandfathers died to give them that right?
Every election cycle, we hold our breath and hope that we’ve hit the bottom in trivializing the political process and every election cycle we dig ourselves down a little further into the muck and goo of empty posturing and simplistic rhetoric. It’s like we just can’t help ourselves. We want to be good citizens. We really do, but they just keep treating us like imbeciles. Apparently, issues like tax policy, health care reform and international relations are just too complicated for us to get our pretty little heads around. Certainly the press seems averse to cracking a book and studying the details in full. Much easier to take a gimme from political operatives and run with it, hoisting a semi-fictional character up unto the national stage as a symbol of Why We Have Elections. Get out and vote, people. If not for yourselves or your children, for Joe. Joe the Plumber who, as it turns out, isn’t actually a licensed plumber but it’s a much catchier sound bite than Joe the Plumber’s Assistant.
Easy, digestible bits. That’s what election campaigns boil down to. Read My Lips. No New Taxes. Drill Baby Drill. No Cut and Run. Axis of Evil. Flip Flopper. Joe the Plumber. Syntax lifted directly from a primary school reader. See Dick Run. See Jane Run. Do You Like My Hat? I Do Not Like Your Hat. This is how politicians and their tacticians speak to us, filtered through media ciphers, and then they all have the gall to turn around, oozing incredulity at how the electorate is disengaged and disinterested in the political process.
In the recent Canadian federal election, voters came out in.. what’s the opposite of ‘droves’? Dribbles? Trickles? Drickles. Tribbles. Turnout was the worst ever, is what I’m trying to say, clocking in at under 60%. While there were a host of rationales factoring into an explanation why, let me put forth one salient possibility. One party presented an extensive environmental policy in their platform to deal with climate change. The party in power, having spent two years internationally embarrassing the country with its foot-dragging and antediluvian approach to the issue, labelled the idea a Carbon Tax and Government Cash Grab. (Note the superlative use of the Dr. Seuss-like two and three word responses.) Soon everyone was calling it a Carbon Tax including many media outlets, completing the cynical loop. It culminated on election night as I watched, slack-jawed, a major television media personality explain why the policy worked against the party that had proposed it. To paraphrase: it was all too complicated. People couldn’t understand it. (Wait for it. Wait for it.) Said journalist then admits that she didn’t even understand it, followed by a pithy, cocktail party laugh.
And no one sitting on the panel around her looked askance or furrowed their brow, suggesting any awkwardness at what seemed to me to be a shocking admission. Isn’t that supposed to be a journalist’s job? To take what they are given from the campaign teams and figure out exactly what it all means? When did it become acceptable to be so publicly candid about your own ignorance and lack of satisfactory job performance? The depths to which we are held in such utter contempt are truly astounding.Of course, the civilian population is in no way blameless in all of this. Obviously enough of us respond accordingly enough times to make this infantilization of politics feasible. See Spot Run. See Spot Run a Deficit. Bad Spot, Bad. No Vote Spot. Spot’s out on his ass and Rover’s in and quickly runs up a deficit to maintain vital social programs during a severe economic downturn.
But as turnout dwindles with each successive election, one has to wonder if the inane type of campaigns and campaign coverage are chasing away as many voters as are captivated by its lurid simplicity. Apathy stems from anger and resentment at being treated like a child. While Joe the Plumber is easy symbolism for those who want your vote and those reporting on those vote seekers, for a growing number of the electorate, Joe the Plumber is yet another sign of intellectual barrenness and media complicity in the ruse, and yet another reason to simply tune the whole circus out.
READ MORE COLUMNS BY DAREN FOSTER
October 20 2008 - EYES HAVE IT - You say pollster. I say huckster.
October 13 2008 - MUSLIM COMEDY REVIEW - Ahmed's now your wacky next door neighbour!
October 6 2008 - BVLGARI VVLGARIS - Celebrity overseas whoring.
September 29 2008 - COMEDY TODAY
September 22 2008 - FALLEN SEASON EXPECTATIONS
September 15 2008 - CONVENTIONAL WISDOM
September 8 2008 - KILL THE BATMAN - Seriously. Put him out of his misery.
September 1 2008 - MY SUMMER VACATION
August 25 2008 - PHONING IT IN
August 18 2008 - GUNGA GULUNGA
August 11 2008 - EMMY DAZE - Where is The Wire
August 4 2008 - ME TALK GOOD
July 28 2008 - TAKE THE CANNOLI
July 21 2008 - TECHNO BEAT 2
July 14 2008 - TECHNO BEAT 1
July 7 2008 - THE INDIGESTIBLE HULK
June 30 2008 - KING GEORGE
June 23 2008 - PLAYING ONE ON TV
June 16 2008 - NEW MONDAY MORNING COLUMN - LIFE IS TOO SHORT - Finally, I saw the last episode of The Wire.
June 4 2008 - FLIP THIS CHANNEL - Buying first house leads to having many things on the mind.
May 29 2008 - BE AFRAID VERY AFRAID - The Canadian military is no longer some namby-pamby, truce-brokering, do-gooding, adventure-seeking, peacekeeping bunch of pacifiers
May 22 2008 - STONE COLD BORING ANGEL - All about The Stone Angel
May 15 2008 - HARD TO SWALLOW CANDY - Madonna is back!
May 1 2008 - AN ARRESTING DEVELOPMENT
April 24 2008 - Just TWEEN you and me
April 17 2008 - A Day at the Movies
April 10 2008 - Stop the (March) Madness!
April 3 2008 - Heaven's Gate Revisited
