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CRANK 2: HIGH VOLTAGE, 2009
Movie Review

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CRANK 2 HIGH VOLTAGE
CRANK 2 HIGH VOLTAGE
Movie Review

Directed by Mark Neveldine, Brian Taylor
Starring: Jason Statham, Amy Smart
Review by Matthew Toffolo



SYNOPSIS:

Chelios faces a Chinese mobster who has stolen his nearly indestructible heart and replaced it with a battery-powered ticker that requires regular jolts of electricity to keep working. I hate it when that happens.

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REVIEW:

Crank 2 High Voltage is really just a cartoon show that I used to watch as a kid. It reminded me of The Road Runner. A man even falls 1000 feet onto the ground and survives, just like Willy Coyote always did. Then there are all of these devises and mechanisms created to track down the prey which always leads to a brutal and painful results. But no matter what happens, our main character survives. And of course he does. He's our main character!

The only exception is that there is also a little sex action happening in Crank 2 High Voltage. We get a lot of it too, in the most vulgar way possible. It was kind of like watching a porno film in fast forward at times. Action/Porn. I think the filmmakers created a whole new genre.

But this is a live-action film. So the explosions and blowups aren't as sweet as they seemed to be when they are in animation. Even though we all know that this is a movie and none of it is real, watching real people instead of cartoon characters makes a huge difference. It's such a difference the rating goes from G to R in a flash.

There seems to be an interesting social commentary in that. You show two of the same things but in a different light and you get two of the exact opposite labels for it. One man's G rated world is another man's R rated world. It's all semantics.

But why is this? The directing team obviously took a lot of ideas from animation films and I don't think they want anyone to take this movie seriously. It's just a fun piece made solely for wink-wink laughs and entertainment. On this site, Crank 2: High Voltage won't be in the comedy category in the movie reviews section, but this is really more of a comedy than an action film.

It's just not the type of comedy we're used to. We can watch a cartoon pig, duck, rabbit or even a human get flown out of a car and land on a cement ground and we will laugh as they get up and brush themselves off. But when it's a live-action human being doing it, a lot of us will cringe.

The TONE of Crank 2: High Voltage even begins by telling us that this is really a cartoon movie. But no matter how far into the film I watch it, I am not impressed by the blatant violence and gore. I just got turned off. It just seemed too real for my eyes to handle.

So as kids today watch the same story minus the sex on Saturday Mornings, this is a film that really deserves an NC-17 rating. I didn't need to see a lot of the scenes in this movie and in a very bad way, it will stay with me for weeks. It might even show up in my dreams too. BUT if it was an animation movie, I might of liked it. And I haven't figured out what to say after that.

I didn't like this film very much. It either insulted my intelligence or I am too stupid to really get it. All I know is that I'll never be able to see The Road Runner the same again.

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