Addictions - Matthew Toffolo Blog April 13thStephen King, a recovering drug addict likes to talk about addictions with his lump in the sofa cushion analogy. To get rid of the lump, you press down on it but another lump comes up. You press that down and another lump comes up in a different area. No matter what you do, that lump in the sofa cushion will always be there. He defeated his drug problem, but another addiction hit him. The trick was to find the best addiction you can find to replace your bad addiction. From a person who is an alcoholic, drug addict and long time smoker who quick all of these things, I totally understand what Stephen King is saying. Addictions don't go away, you just have to change them. Stephen King changed his drug taking addiction to an addiction to baseball, namely his team the Boston Red Sox. He's always seen sitting in the 4th row behind the dugout at every Red Sox game watching every pitch and reading a book between innings. He realized that in order to stop his passion of getting high, he had to change it to a passion for baseball. Most of us have many addictions. We all do things that are in our daily life that we need to do. Some addictions are good, like brushing your teeth and having a shower. Some could be considered bad like drinking coffee and buying your bucket of popcorn every time you go to the movies. Here's my opinion of the major, harmful addictions in order in our society: 10) Shopping and buying possessions All of these addictions can but a negative mark on how you live your life. But I'm sure most of us have at least one of these addictions if we really take a look at ourselves. Food is definitely the worst addiction of them all. Most of us have some sort of food addiction. We know some of the food we eat is not good for us, but we still eat it because either it tastes so good or we do it out of habit. And you can't walk down the street for longer than 50 yards and not see some sort of advertisement for some crappy food. It's always there in front of us. But you need to eat food, just like you need sex! Moderation is key. Like your spouse, you have to become loyal to the right foods and then you can pretty much eat whenever you want. That of course is easier said than done. When I crashed and came back to life after my drug and alcohol addiction in late 2001, I was a complete mess. It was like I needed to learn how to walk again. I wanted to drink and do drugs but knew I couldn't, At this time I also decided to quit smoking because in my opinion that's how it all started. I began to smoke at 16, started drinking soon afterwards because it fit with smoking and then drugs came soon after that because it fit with drinking. I started to become obsessed with other things to clear my mind from my desires. That's when I began my filmmaking career and that's when I also became interested in getting to know my body. I was born into a very fitness and health oriented family. I rebelled at them and then I of course came back. I started going to the gym, took Yoga classes and began to push my body. I did cleanses and was on a Raw Food Diet for over 3 months one time. If something moved in my body, I knew exactly the reason why. Now if I don't go to the gym for 2 days, I begin to want a cigarette. In mid-2005 as I was going through a very stressful breakup, I couldn't go to the gym for a week and I took up smoking again for awhile. It then it took me 3 solid weeks back at the gym to quit again. The Gym is my replacement for smoking. Alcohol was my best friend. I loved going to the bar, talking with people and eventually getting drunk. It was my greatest joy. This was hard for me to stop. AA meetings are fine as I still go to them from time to time, but I have a hard time relating with the people for some reason. I'm a spiritual person, but the religious brainwashing they do gets to me. But right now I have no desire to drink. It comes back to me everyday, but my passion now is not drinking, it's my business and making films. That is what I love the best now. Anytime I'm lacking integrity within myself and fears of the future, that is when I want to drink. But I just battle my fears, plow ahead and stay true to myself. Then that desire shrinks away. Drugs were a way to boost my energy. To make me feel good about myself while also removing myself from the world for awhile. To just be free. Now I do that by watching baseball ala Stephen King. It gives me what drugs gave me but I whole lot more. I remove myself from the world by watching the game, but it pushes me closer to understanding man at the same time. I never need to do drugs ever again because baseball will always be there. Every game I learn something new that I didn't know before. It stretches my mind like I thought drugs did (which is bullshit in the long run). Until I read Stephen King's analogy, I never consciously realized that I completely changed my addictions. Now it makes so much sense to me. I'm free from my demons because I changed them to something positive.
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