Subscribe To This Site

A MODEST PROPOSAL
by Daren Foster

Search WILDsound

Reviews/Movies/Columns

WATCH FILMS
2008 Shorts
2007 Shorts
Drama Shorts
Comedy Shorts
Horror Shorts
Animation Shorts
Action Shorts
Thriller Shorts
DOC Shorts
Experimental
Musical Videos

CLASSIC FILMS
2000s Reviews
1990s Reviews
1980s Reviews
1970s Reviews
1960s Reviews
1950s Reviews
1940s Reviews
1930s Reviews
1920s Reviews

BY GENRE
Drama
Comedy
Action
Comic Book
Western
Animation
Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Thriller/Suspense

2009 MOVIE REVIEWS
Drama Movies
Comedy Movies
Action Movies
Thriller Movies
Animation Movies
Horror Movies
Kids Movies
Romance Movies

OUT ON DVD

See what's out at the comfort of your home!

2009 MOVIE TRAILERS

See the trailers of the UPCOMING TOP movies!

Movie Reviews

2009 DRAMA MOVIES

All the dramatic films from 2009

2009 COMEDY MOVIES

All the comedy films from 2009

2009 HORROR MOVIES

All the horror films from 2009

2009 ACTION MOVIES

All the action films from 2009

2009 KIDS MOVIES

All the children films from 2009

2009 ROMANCE MOVIES

All the romantic films from 2009

2009 THRILLER MOVIES

All the thriller films from 2009

2009 ANI-
MATED MOVIES

All the animated films from 2009

DAREN FOSTER PODCAST September 1 2009 - PRESS PLAY TO LISTEN

A MODEST PROPOSAL
by Daren Foster

***Once more with feeling: Let's kill Canadian private broadcasting!!***

September’s here and with it comes the observance of some very important religious celebrations. Rosh Hashanah. Eid al-fitr, the end of Ramadan. The 61st Annual Emmy Awards.

Since I’m neither Jewish nor Muslim, it’s not all that surprising I wasn’t much impacted by the first two although I ain’t much of a Christian either but can get seriously wrapped up in the Christmas spirit. Clearly I’m driven by the pure joy of receiving. For t’is what the season is all about according to the sayings of one baby Jesus.

As a very spiritually driven TV watcher, however, you might think that the Emmys would warrant a red check mark in my calendar. In truth, I had no idea they were on, stumbling across the broadcast purely by accident in a vain attempt to find something, anything, to sooth my jangly nerves due to a hyperactive jalapeño I’d ingested as part of a humungous veal sandwich earlier in the day.

From the little I saw, it seems that in terms of the bigger awards, Emmy voters got it as right as can be expected for this kind of shallow display of self-congratulatory back slapping. Best of and writing awards went to Mad Men, 30 Rock and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. The main acting categories were handed out almost entirely according to excessive histrionics. Glenn Close in Damages over Elizabeth Moss in Mad Men. Bryan Cranston in Breaking Bad; an award he certainly deserved (and received) last year but was wildly misplaced this year since he was mostly left to sulk or scream as the show itself lost its footing. And Toni Collette in the United States of Tara? Puh-lease! It doesn’t matter how many caricatures you play. They never add up to an actual character.

So with the Emmys now behind us, the fall TV season has started to roll out in earnest. With some early positive signs in Glee, Community and Modern Family, the 09-10 season looks promising even if it means averting your gaze from the new Melrose Place in order to maintain such a bright outlook. Yes, there will be dogs, in all likelihood many, many more than there will be even palatable fare. All it takes is that one special show to keep this atrophied heart a-beating.

And how about up here in the northern television hinterland? What little bag of tricks do our networks have to keep our eyes glued to the television sets--

I’m sorry, I couldn’t keep a straight face even long enough to finish a single paragraph that started with that sentiment. While American networks kick up a big fuss over the coming of another new and most def exciting television fall season, Canadian broadcasters are almost entirely of the yeah, just like they said approach. They, you ask? They, as in U.S. networks since the primetime schedules of our private networks consist of almost 95% American programming. While that number may be slightly hyperbolic, if you factor in Canadian-ized versions of U.S. reality shows like American Idol and Next Top Model, it’s not an outlandish estimate.

Oh sure, earlier this spring Canadian network execs were all a-flutter about the sudden spike in Canadian produced shows invading American primetime schedules. First there was Flashpoint and then The Listener, with a couple more series in the development pipe ready to spring into action. Well after NBC canned The Listener just a handful of episodes into its run, and CBS seems to have completely stopped talking about Flashpoint, the future isn’t looking so rosy for American audiences saving home-grown Canadian television drama.

To recap: number of Canadian produced or Canadian-American co-produced shows on the U.S. networks fall line-up? 0. Number of American produced shows on the private Canadian networks fall line-up? Well, I don’t have time to count them all but just a glance at a typical Tuesday TV schedule reveals 9. Multiple that by 5 or 6 nights and you start to get the unbalanced picture. The lone “Canadian” show on the Canadian schedule this particular Tuesday? So You Think You Can Dance CANADA.

During this period of serious economic contraction, Canadian networks have been forced to spend less hundreds of millions on American programming than the usual hundreds of millions they were spending even just last year. Times are tough, don’t you know. (Picture Monopoly fat cat guy displaying his empty pockets.) What they don’t tell you is that after the buying frenzy of a decade ago -- much of which is contributing to their money woes now -- there are fewer and fewer media conglomerates owning more and more television networks. So the same outfit that owns the Canadian rights to say, Bones, now shows it on more than one of its channels, making a mockery of this notion of increased consumer choice. That whole, 57 Channels (And Nothing On) scenario but multiplied tenfold.

What kind of adverse effect does this have on television production here in Canada? Take the Showcase channel, for example. Canwest Global did in fact, and now it is but a shadow of its former self. Once the property of production/distribution giant Alliance Atlantis, Showcase was one of the original specialty channels and developed an edgy reputation for producing original Canadian programming and airing less mainstream fare from both the U.S. and Britain. Its track record was spotty but it did have big success with The Trailer Park Boys and gave Canada a glimpse at outrageous American cable fare like It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Under Canwest’s stewardship, Showcase now tops up its schedule with repeats of the mothership’s imported shows from the U.S. like Bones (really?!? Bones?? Really!!?), cancelled Canadian series (DaVinci’s City Hall), and movies that somehow qualify as Canadian content and that people saw long ago or never wanted to watch in the first place. I did notice while doing a little research that it has produced a new, original series, The Foundation, which they’ve managed to keep secret. They’ve also buried the abovementioned It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia in a 2 a.m. time slot.

And yet, to read the trade papers, it’s the specialty stations that are making money! How?!

Canwest’s not alone in its use of television as its own private playground. CTVglobemedia became a major player in specialty and digital ownership but littered most of those assets with 2nd runs of purchased American and significantly fewer home-grown programs, throwing a liberal spicing of out-of-date movies only severely hung over viewers watch because any move to change the channel will make them vomit even more so than the movie they’re enduring. Scrolling down the television line-up produces a seemingly endless loop of sameness over and over again. Like the background in cheaply produced cartoons, which the networks probably bought from the Americans.

None of this is particularly new or surprising but I bring it up because it looks like the private networks have the ear of the country’s broadcast regulatory body, the CRTC, about the fee-for-carriage issue that’s been kicking around for awhile. For those who are not regular readers of this column, fee-for-carriage is a surcharge cable and satellite providers would pay the networks to air programming content that is almost exclusively American and can already be seen on the U.S. networks. Since Canadian broadcasters have been living inside a simulcast bubble, they believe that they really are bringing something to the table and should be duly recompensed for those hard-to-pinpoint services they are providing.

Not willing to roll in slightly less dough, the cable and satellite providers will inevitably pass along any charge they are ordered to pay to the networks, saying that there’s nothing they can do, the government’s tied their hands, blah, blah, blah. Consumers will then be directly subsidizing the private networks for programming they already pay for but can’t watch directly because of government sanctioned airwave piracy. Ain’t free enterprise, great?! At least that’s what the Canwest owned National Post newspaper is always on about.

Here is my modest proposal if the fee-for-carriage gambit goes down. Cable and satellite providers should pass along the service charge to we the consumers but re-jig our fee schedule so that these Canadian private networks aren’t automatically included in the structure. Make them optional is what I’m saying. Those who want to watch them can and will pay for the pleasure. Those who couldn’t give a fuck if they ever watched them again could decline and not pay. Once they start providing programming that we want to see and can’t see anywhere else, then maybe we’ll reconsider ponying up. Until then, stop running to the government for handouts and expect to be bailed out by the Canadian public because you don’t know how to run your business!